A Magical Kind of Comedy
by frk-werewolf
Summary: HP-Buffy Xover. A Slayer is activated at Hogwarts and Xander is sent to train her. Of course, Andrew comes along. Warning: Contains Slash Xander-Remus, Andrew-Severus, others. [complete]
1. part 1

Title: A Magical Kind of Comedy, Part 1

Author: frkwerewolf

Fandom: Buffy/Harry Potter Crossover

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings, only the words. And, hell, I barely own them.

Pairings: Xander/Remus, Andrew/Severus, mentions of other pairings

Rating: PG-13

Summary: A slayer is activated at Hogwarts and Xander is sent to train her. Of course, Andrew comes along.

Setting: Post-"Chosen", Post-"OotP", Spoilers for Season 5 of Angel

* * *

The airport was never a place that Xander enjoyed. He had only been there a few times in his life and each time had proven to be a hassle, what with them sending his luggage to Rome with Buffy instead of to England with himself last time. This time, when they arrived in London they found their luggage intact, which Xander found to be slightly reassuring. Perhaps his first gig as an actual Watcher-of-sorts (he was still apprehensive about the title) would not go down the drain. The fact that Andrew was tagging along did not help to back up this fact. Yet, Xander knew it was either Andrew following him or pestering Giles into an early grave. Even Xander wasn't that cruel.

The London airport was bustling with various groups of people. Xander managed to find a vacant area to place their baggage and wait for their escorts to arrive. Andrew was bouncing around him, managing to comment on everything. Xander rolled his eye, adjusted his eye patch, and continued to scan the crowd.

He wasn't sure what he was looking for, or rather who. Giles told him that someone would meet him at the airport and take him to meet his new charge. A Slayer. Not just a Slayer, but apparently a witch as well. Figures he wouldn't get a normal one. Yet, it was because of her being a witch and student at some magic school that forced Giles to send someone to her, instead of bringing her to headquarters. There weren't enough Watchers left to send out to every Slayer. So, the current process was to train them, then send them home.

"Wow, look at him." Andrew giggled. Xander followed his line of sight to see a man in very mismatched clothing. The shock of red hair was much like Willow's, standing out in the crowd almost as much as the golfer pants and business coat.

The redheaded man turned to someone next to him, gesturing with his hands as he looked around the airport. The other man was dressed in better clothing, with gray slacks and a white button up shirt that looked both well-worn and comfortable. This one wasn't a redhead, instead he had gray hinted honey-blonde hair. And even at this distance, Xander could see the golden eyes. He'd never seen someone with actual gold eyes before, but he supposed there was a first time for everything.

"Hey, they're coming over." Xander sighed as Andrew continued his commentary on the events surrounding him. He was shocked the blonde hadn't pulled out his camera yet.

"Excuse me?" The golden eyed man asked. "Would you be Mr. Alexander Harris?"

"Yeah, that's me." Xander smiled, reaching out and shaking the man's hand, then in turn the redhead's. He gestured toward Andrew, who bounced over to shake their hands. "This is Andrew Wells. He's, uh, the assistant."

"Hiya!" Andrew greeted, preening at the title.

"It is nice to meet you." The redhead smiled. "I'm Arthur Weasley and this is Professor Remus Lupin."

"Weasley? Oh, you'd be our new Slayer's father, correct?" Xander asked, reaching down to pick up his bags.

"Yes, that would be me." Arthur chuckled. "It would figure my only daughter would end up stronger than all my boys."

"Perhaps it would be best to finish this conversation at headquarters." Remus suggested, reaching to help them with their bags.

The trip to their headquarters was rather boring, if Xander was honest with himself. When they reached a vacant looking street the taxi stopped and they all gathered between two houses. Xander noticed there was a house missing, apparently someone had forgotten to add a number twelve. Xander turned to Remus, mouth open to talk but was instead handed a slip of folded paper. He unfolded it, then turned questioning eyes toward the golden-eyed man.

"Memorize it." He told Xander. Xander returned his eye to the slip of paper.

'The Order of the Phoenix can be found at Number 12 Grimmauld Place, London.'

"Let me see." Andrew plucked the paper out of Xander's hand to read it as well. "But there isn't a number 12-"

As Andrew spoke a strange thing appeared in front of him. The two houses, numbers eleven and thirteen, shifted to the side to reveal number twelve, which had appeared out of nowhere. For once, Andrew was without comment. Xander, who was used to seeing strange things, reached down and picked up his baggage. "Well, that explains that."

"We must be very quiet in the front hall." Arthur told them as they opened the grimy front door. The moment they entered the house, the front door was closed and darkness enveloped them. There was a moment's pause to let their eyes adjust, after which Xander noticed that Remus had moved on ahead without any problems in the dark, Arthur began ushering them toward a door at the end of a short hallway. Inside, they found themselves in a room with a long dining table.

Sitting along the table was a group of redheads, one boy with dark hair, and a girl with long, brown hair. Xander raised an eyebrow at all of the redheads this place seemed to have. Then, all eyes turned on them and Xander adjusted his eye patch uncomfortably. An older woman in the back stood and quickly made her way over, greeting them with a wide, motherly smile.

"I hope your trip was okay? Not too far, I hope." The woman asked, and Xander was vaguely reminded of Buffy's mother.

"No, not at all. The Council is in Blackpool, so it wasn't that long of a plane trip. I think we could of drove to save in airfare, but the boss man wouldn't hear of it." Xander grinned. "Said we'd get lost."

"We probably would." Andrew muttered to himself.

"Well, I'm glad it was a safe trip." She replied. "My name is Molly Weasley. These are my children." She began, pointing to each one as she announced their name. "That's Bill, Fred, George, Ron, his friends Harry and Hermione, and Ginny. Terribly sorry you aren't able to meet Charlie, but he had to return to Romania. Everyone, this is Mr. Alexander Harris."

"Please, call me Xander." Xander insisted. Andrew cleared his throat next to him. "Oh, and this is Andrew Wells."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Molly replied. "Fred! George! Take their luggage to the spare room on the third floor."

"But-" Fred started.

"Now." Molly narrowed her eyes. Fred and George both rolled their eyes before dragging the suitcases up the stairs. Molly turned back to Xander and Andrew with a smile. "Why don't you both have a seat?"

A few minutes later, after the twins had returned, the questions began. Xander noticed that his new Slayer, Ginny, was the only one who didn't ask anything. She merely watched them all from her corner of the table. The bushy-haired girl, Hermione, reminded him of Willow.

"I thought there was only one Slayer." Was the first comment out of her mouth. Everyone turned toward Xander and for a moment he wished he could just hand this over to Andrew and his cue cards.

"Well, there was." Xander cleared his throat, knowing this was going to take a while. "See, what happened was one of my best friends, Buffy, was The Slayer. As in the only one. Then she drowned, but I used mouth-to-mouth to bring her back to life. She was only gone for about two minutes." From the side of the room that his eye had view of he could see the wizards mouthing the words 'mouth-to-mouth' in slight confusion. "So, because she basically died, another Slayer was called. Then that Slayer died and Faith was called."

"Faith is like the Xena of Slayers." Andrew announced. Hermione, being the only one able to understand this connection, fought a small giggle.

"Right, well, Faith went all Dark Slayer on us." Xander continued. "So, she got sent to jail. Things were fine for a while, then Glory showed up. She was this Hell Goddess that wanted to go home, but in order to do that she had to use the blood of The Key. The Key is Buffy's sister. And working with the Buffster you learn one thing: Don't mess with her family. Anyway, Glory still opened the portal up to go home, so Buffy jumped off the platform to close it and died. Again."

"She has terrible luck, that one does." Ron commented. Xander snorted in agreement.

"Yeah, she does." Xander replied. "So, Buffy died for a second time. Well, my best friend Willow is a witch. Though, according to Giles she's not the same type of witch as you guys, she's an Earth Witch or something. I don't know. That's not my thing."

"What's an Earth Witch?" Ron asked the most logical person to ask: Hermione.

"Someone who doesn't need a wand and works with the elements." Hermione answered automatically, before sending a glare at the younger Weasley. "Honestly, Ron, you should start reading more."

"Well, then, let me just go out and buy a copy of Hogwarts: A History." Ron retorted. Hermione's face turned near red with anger at this comment.

"Ron." Molly said in a warning voice. "Go ahead, Xander, dear."

"Umm, right... Where was I?" Xander asked Andrew.

"The part where Willow goes all Gandalf on us. Well, on you guys, I was evil at the time." Andrew said.

"She didn't go Gandalf." Xander told him. "She brought someone else back to life, she wasn't resurrected herself. And you weren't evil, just really annoying... Except the killing Jonathon thing."

"Hey, I apologized for that." Andrew whined. Xander was suddenly aware of the fact that everyone was staring at them strangely. Clearing his throat, he decided to continue with his story.

"Willow decided it was high time to get our Slayer back. So, we did this spell to bring Buffy back to life." Xander said. "It worked, but things were a little off. Turns out she was pulled out of Heaven. But that's another story. Then The First came to town. Well, underneath the town. The First is this huge collection of evil from all over the world, especially vampires. When we battled The First, all of the Potential Slayers came to help. Buffy decided that there shouldn't be just one Slayer. So, Willow did a spell to activate the Slayers. Hence, more than one Slayer."

"That took too long. We should find a way to shorten the story." Andrew complained.

"So, what exactly is a Slayer, anyway?" Molly asked.

"It's The Chosen One." Hermione answered for Xander. "Well, now I suppose it's 'A Chosen Group'. A girl with extra strength and senses, able to battle darkness. Watchers are the ones that train and educate them. Slayers mostly kill vampires, along with other dark creatures." Xander looked impressed, while a few others in the group were shooting glances towards Remus, who had been so quiet that Xander had forgotten his presence.

"So, it's my duty to kill dark creatures?" Ginny asked from her corner of the table.

"Pretty much. That and stop any prophecies concerning a great evil and all that jazz." Xander told her.

"Too bad you weren't a Slayer when we were fighting You-Know-Who." Ron commented.

"That's not funny, Ron." Harry said softly.

"Harry's right." Molly said. Ron looked ashamed. "Just because the Dark Lord has been defeated does not mean we should take it lightly."

"Sorry." Ron mumbled.

"Dark Lord?" Xander asked, raising an eyebrow.

"They must have their own Darth Vader." Andrew whispered to him.

"As long as he's dead, I don't really care." Xander replied.

"Don't worry, he's dead." Harry said bitterly. "He's been dead for about two months now."

"Thank Merlin." Fred said.

"Now maybe this year-" George started.

"Ronnikins will have a-" Fred continued.

"Peaceful year." George finished.

"It's not my fault we always got into trouble." Ron said. No one at the table look convinced by that statement.

"I think that's enough chatter." Molly announced, standing. "Ginny, why don't you show them to their room while I start dinner?"

"Oh, can I help?" Andrew asked in an excited voice.

"Please, let him." Xander begged. "He's been mourning the loss of his oven mitts for months."

"Every cook must own the bare essentials." Andrew insisted. Xander simply rolled his eye and stood to follow Ginny upstairs.

They passed the front hall quietly and made their way up narrow stairs until they reached the third floor. Xander and Andrew's room was bare, holding only two twin beds and their luggage. Ginny stood nervously at the doorway as he surveyed the room and then turned his eye on her. She was short, her deep red hair fell to her shoulders, and she watched him with a pair of hazel brown eyes.

"So, what do you think of all of this?" Xander asked, sitting on the nearest bed. "A bit overwhelming, I can imagine."

"A bit would be an understatement." She replied. After a moment's pause she walked over to the other bed and sat across from him. "How long have you been a Watcher?"

"About three months, unofficially." Xander answered.

"What about Andrew?"

"Andrew... Well, he's not really a Watcher. I guess neither one of us are. It's hard to be official when the Watcher's Council blew up, leaving only a hand full of trained field Watchers. But I've worked with a Slayer for a little over seven years and Andrew's been with us a year." Xander explained.

"You're going to teach me to fight, right?" Ginny asked.

"Pretty much. You'll learn to use a sword, an axe, a stake, and crossbow. Along with hand to hand combat, that's important." Xander told her.

"I imagine so." Ginny said softly. "You're going to Hogwarts with me, then?"

"Yup, so is Andrew."

"I don't see how that's going to work. Muggles can't see Hogwarts. It's just a dirty old building to them." Ginny said.

"Muggle?"

"People who don't use magic."

"Ah. Well, Andrew will probably be able to see it." Xander shrugged. "He uses magic, well he did use it. To summon demons. Not a very good gift, mind you, but it means he has some magic ability."

"What about you?" Ginny asked.

"I've used spells before. Remind me to tell you about my horrible experience in love spells." Xander grinned. "But, I'm not much of a magic user. Not much of anything, really. I was the humor of the group before we split up. I... Well, I watched. Guess I was cut out for this Watcher gig."

"Sometimes watching is better than participating." Ginny said.

"That's a very good point." Xander nodded. A silence fell upon them for a few minutes before Xander cleared his throat and adjusted his eye patch.

"What happened to your eye?" Ginny asked bluntly.

"Huh? Oh, the eye." Xander cringed at the memory.

"You don't have to-"

"No, it's okay. Most people just stare at it, without asking. You're forward, I like it." Xander smiled. "Well, The First I was talking about? It had this evil preacher serving it; really creepy guy. Well, we were fighting him one night and he got a hold of me and stuck his thumb into my eye."

"Ouch." Ginny bit her lip. "That must have hurt."

"Yeah, but thankfully my doctor was very generous with the medication." Xander replied. Ginny smiled in return. "So, tell me what's up with this Dark Lord that you guys fought. I got the feeling it was pretty big."

"Yeah, it was." Ginny said, staring at the floor. "Harry is what our world calls The Boy Who Lived. He survived a curse that should have killed him. No one has ever survived it, except for him. The Dark Lord, known as Lord Voldemort-" Ginny made a disgusted face as she said the name. "-was stripped of his power. A couple of years ago he returned to power and gained his old followers along with some new ones. Over the summer, at the end of Harry's sixth year and my fifth, the Order placed a siege on You-Know-Who's hideout. Harry, following the prophecy, killed him. Most of his followers, the Death Eaters, have been placed in Azkaban Prison, but there are a few that haven't been captured."

"Wow." Xander whistled under his breath. Ginny shifted in her seat, scratching at one arm.

"Does being a Slayer always itch?" Ginny suddenly asked.

"Huh? Itch?"

"Well... Here lately it feels like my skin is crawling... Mostly around certain things... or people." Ginny confided. "This house use to belong to a rather dark family, so there are a lot of items of dark magic still in here that we haven't been able to get rid of. Every time I go near one of them, my skin starts itching and crawling."

"We've discovered that every Slayer has a different reaction toward the nasties. Buffy got cramps. Faith, well, she got... Uh... How old are you?"

"I'm almost sixteen."

"Right, can't tell you how Faith got." Xander said. "Kennedy got a surge of anger. One of the recent Slayers would get the hiccups. So, most likely that's how you're warned of a bad presence."

"But he's not bad!" Ginny exclaimed, standing.

"Whoa, who?" Xander asked, confused. Ginny bit her lip and shook her head. "Come on, tell me. I'm here to help you figure this stuff out, remember? I got to know if I'm going to be able to do my job."

"Professor Lupin." Ginny said.

"Remus? What about him?" Xander asked.

"He's a werewolf." Ginny told him. Xander was silent for a moment, leaving Ginny to fidget. "I shouldn't have told you."

"No!" Xander exclaimed. "No. Look, as long as he stays locked up during the full moon, he's not a bad person, right?"

"He stays in the attic." Ginny said. "But Professor Snape, the Potions teacher at school, makes Wolfsbane Potion for him. He's able to keep a human mind while transformed."

"Sounds familiar." Xander mused. "Willow dated a werewolf in high school. They set off the slayer sense, especially close to the full moon, but it should lessen during the other times of the month."

"Merlin, that sounds like when mum told me about menstruation." Ginny laughed, then looked away when she realized what she said.

xxx

Down in the kitchen, Andrew was busy setting the table. Molly kept glancing back at him from the stove, a look of complete shock on her face. This boy talked more than all her children together.

"I've got to go, mum." Bill announced, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Oh, okay dear. It is a pity you can't stay for dinner." Molly replied, playing slightly with his hair. He could tell from her face that she was still longing to cut it all off.

"Sorry mum." Bill grinned. "But Fleur has been trying to do the whole meal planning thing. She'd kill me if I didn't show up and praise her good work."

"Very well."

"Oh, and Severus should be coming by later with the file on one of the missing Death Eaters." Bill told her. "He should be here soon."

"Maybe I can get him to stay for dinner this time." Molly mused. "He really does need to eat better."

Bill merely grinned and left for home, leaving his mother with her mind set at mothering Severus Snape.

Andrew had decided he liked Molly Weasley. She reminded him of his mother, which probably explained why he gave off the vibe of Momma's Boy. At least that's what he figured, because Molly was already starting to fawn over him helping her out like such a sweet boy. Andrew wanted to point out that he wasn't a boy, he was actually twenty-one, but he was enjoying the attention so much he decided to let that drop.

It was a while later, when dinner was in it's last stage of preparation, that Professor Severus Snape showed up. Andrew was in the middle of mixing up the mashed potatoes, despite Molly's suggestion that they use magic. Andrew would hear nothing of it, for mashed potatoes were an art form. Severus entered the kitchen like a bat swooping down on it's prey. Andrew didn't know who he was trying to impress, but it worked on him.

"Here is the file, Molly." Severus announced, handing a suspicious looking folder to the Weasley matriarch. She gave a quick nod and left the room with it. Andrew stared at Severus, taking in his pale skin and black clothing. Feeling someone's eyes on him, Severus looked over.

"Hi!" Andrew greeted, breaking into a large grin. Severus simply blinked. Andrew cleared his throat and tried again. "You're Professor Snape, right? I'm Andrew. I came with Xander. He's Ginny's new Watcher."

Severus stared at him. Andrew didn't seem phased by the stare and his grin widened in response. Andrew decided the man must be the silent-type. Which meant that he needed to fill the void. "So, you work at that magic school, huh? Hogwarts, is it? What do you teach? Is it true you're a greasy old git? You don't look so old; not very greasy either."

"I-" Severus stopped himself from replying and narrowed his dark eyes at the young man.

"So, you guys use wands? That's so cool. It reminds me of this story I read once." Andrew continued.

"You're not torturing this poor man, are you Andrew?" Xander asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Why would I torture him?" Andrew asked, a little shocked. He quickly got over it, though. "Xander! Dinner is almost ready. And doesn't Professor Snape look like something out of a gothic movie? I bet he lives in a castle with torches and a dungeon."

"Actually, I think Hogwarts is a castle." Xander replied, sitting down at the table.

"Wow, this is so cool! I can't wait until we go there." Andrew bounced.

"You will be coming to live with Mr. Harris, then?" Severus asked, his voice cold. Xander flinched at the tone, but Andrew was once again not phased.

"Well, of course silly!" Andrew said, bouncing over to Severus. The Potions Master stared down at the shorter man, his face void of any emotion. "Xander would lose his underwear if I wasn't there to help. Poor guy."

"Hey!" Xander exclaimed. "That was once!"

"Anyway," Andrew fidgeted. "I suppose we will see you there? Or are you staying for dinner?"

"I'm afraid I must leave." Severus told him. He quickly took a step back, only to have Andrew take a step forward.

"Really? You should stay! For dinner?" Andrew asked, pouting slightly.

"No!" Severus said urgently. "I must get back to Hogwarts... Potions to brew."

With that said Severus Snape escaped the horrors of the kitchen. Andrew watched him leave, a small frown playing on his lips and a sigh escaping his chest. Xander snickered from his seat at the table. "I think you scared him off, Andrew."

"I didn't mean to." Andrew mumbled, sitting down next to Xander and crossing his legs. "But, Xander, did you look at him! He's so... Dashing."

"Dashing?" Xander asked, snickering.

"Who's dashing?" Ron asked as he entered the kitchen, Harry and Hermione behind him.

"Oh, Andrew was just noticing the dashing qualities of your neighborhood Batman." Xander replied. Andrew turned bright red.

"Who?" Ron asked, sharing a frown with Harry, who had been refused the privilege of DC comics as a child and therefore did not understand the reference.

"That Snape fellow." Xander explained.

"Oh, ew!" Ron grimaced, covering his face with a hand. "That's gross, mate. Snape? That greasy old git?"

"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed.

"He's not greasy. His hair looks silky." Andrew said softly, staring off into space.

"Oh Zues, there it goes." Xander groaned. He turned to Ron and Harry. "The last time he got that look was when they came out with the Star Wars on DVD, plus a DVD of behind the scenes entertainment... That was a scary day."

"I'm heavily offended by that, Xander." Andrew said, sniffing slightly. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to finish mashing my potatoes."

xxx

"What's Diagon Alley?" Andrew asked. Andrew, along with Xander, Molly, Remus, Ginny, and the Trio, stood in the back of the Leaky Cauldron staring at a red brick wall. "Why are we staring at a brick wall?"

"We must go through there to reach Diagon Alley." Hermione explained. Andrew raised an eyebrow and sent Xander a look.

"It's a wall." Andrew stated.

"Obviously it opens up somewhere." Xander told him.

"Indeed it does." Molly smiled at Andrew. Ginny, Ron, and even Harry recognized this as the 'Oh, aren't you just darling' smile. She pulled out a wand and tapped a few bricks. A soft rumble was heard, then the wall magically split apart. They walked through and found themselves in a busy street with shops and robed men and women.

"Doesn't look like an alley." Andrew noted.

"Ron, here's your money. Don't lose it!" Molly said sternly, handing a pouch over to Ron, then another to Ginny. "There you are, Ginny. You both are welcome to join us."

"Nah, that's alright." Ron said quickly, before grabbing Hermione and Harry's arms and dragging them away. Molly turned to Ginny, who began to fidget.

"I'm going to see if I can find... someone." Ginny said, running off before Molly could reply.

"Well, Andrew is there anyplace in particular you would like to go?" Molly asked the young man, seemingly unaffected by her children running from her.

"I want a dress." Andrew stated. Molly blinked.

"Pardon?"

"A dress... One of those dressy things... Like Professor Snape was wearing." Andrew sighed, while Xander rolled his eyes.

"Oh, a robe!" Molly chuckled. "Certainly, Andrew. Xander, would you like a robe as well?"

"Eh, no, I'm cool." Xander said, adjusting his eye patch nervously as a group of witches walked past and eyed him.

"If you don't mind, Molly, I'm going to go to the bookstore." Remus said. "Xander, you are welcome to join me."

"Yeah, sure." Xander agreed, following the werewolf away from the bouncing blonde and smiling mother. Both Xander and Remus remained on the quiet side as they side-stepped shopping witches and wizards. It wasn't until they had entered the shockingly near-empty store that Xander spoke up. "So..."

"Yes?" Remus asked, stopping in front of a section of books. A gold plaque on the bookshelf read: Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Never mind."

"Very well." Remus said calmly, pulling a thick volume off the shelf and opening it.

"So, you're a werewolf?" Xander blurted out. He could see the sudden tension in Remus' back and was quick to continue. "Not that it's a big deal, being a werewolf. I had a friend who was all wolfie, you know. Quiet man... You kind of remind me of him. Huh... Wonder if it's just a wolf trait?"

"I can assure you not all werewolves are like me." Remus told him softly.

"So, you've met others?" Xander asked, genuinely curious. Remus shot him a look before walking further down the aisle, in the process removing them from the more open area of the shop. Xander glanced around at the books on Dark Magic, not having to be a wizard to feel the negative energy.

"Yes, I have." Remus replied simply. "All registered werewolves must spend three months with a research colony, to determine their danger level. There were about five other lycanthropes there at the time."

"What were they like?" Xander questioned, watching as Remus' gold eyes stared into the distance, as though remembering. He really had beautiful eyes, though Xander tried to fight the thought.

"Different." Remus said. "Aggressive. Dominant. It became apparent very quickly that in the lycanthropy world I was a sub-wolf."

"I don't buy it." Xander countered. Remus simply raised an eyebrow in query. "I mean... Sure, compared to some steroid pumping wolf-man you might be a little out of your league, but you seem the type to hide behind your human side. Your intelligence. In a battle of wits and smarts I bet you could beat anyone."

"I..." Remus trailed off, staring at Xander. "I'm not sure how to respond to that."

"Most just ignore me." Xander said honestly.

"I don't know why." Remus told him. "You're obviously a very bright young man."

Xander blushed under the compliment and quickly turned to the bookshelf to hide the redness of his face.

xxx

"I want black." Andrew exclaimed. Molly chuckled from her spot next to him, watching as the measuring tape darted around his body and took his sizes. "Long and black. Like Severus Snape, the Potions Master. Coolest."

"Pardon?" Molly asked, blinking at the dream filled look on Andrew's face.

"Hmm?" Andrew asked offhandedly, ducking his head as the seamstress threw a large panel of black cloth over him. He watched intently as the robes were quickly formed and sewn using magic.

"I take it you enjoyed meeting Severus, then?" Molly asked lightly.

"Oh, yes!" Andrew nodded. "He's... something, alright. And he barely talked. Which is kind of weird. Is he always that quiet?"

"I'm afraid so." Molly smiled. "Severus isn't much of a people person. I can hardly get him to stay for dinner, let alone join in on a conversation. When he does start talking, though, he proves he's brilliant. I almost want to say the man reads too much."

"Intelligent, sexy, and a wonderful dresser." Andrew sighed, his eyes focusing on a distant point in the air. "Anyone would be lucky to have him, grouchiness and all... He's married, isn't he?"

"No! Not at all." Molly replied, trying not to laugh from the shock of Severus Snape being someone's crush. "He's single. Has been for quite some time."

"Why?" Andrew asked, quickly paying for his robes with the Council's money and following Molly out the door.

"I don't think he believes himself to be worthy of love." Molly said sadly. "No matter how much he has done for the world, how much danger he has survived, he still believes he needs to repent."

"Repenting is over-rated." Andrew said solemnly. "It's impossible to unmake the mistakes you made in the past. All you can do is admit it, learn from it, and live to feel regret."

"You sound like you've experienced it first hand." Molly said softly, slipping her arm across Andrew's shoulders.

"Maybe a bit." Andrew mumbled, before perking back up. "Let's go find Xander! I want to catch him flirting with Remus."

"Flirting?" Molly asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah." Andrew nodded and giggled. "He's been talking in his sleep about golden eyes and werewolves. How many people has he met in the past week with gold eyes? I can only think of one."

"Really?" Molly tapped her chin thoughtfully, a smile forming on her face.

"What are you planning?" Andrew asked. "That's a plotting look! What is it?"

"Oh, nothing." Molly said. "I was just thinking about how nice this could be for Remus, to have someone new interested in him. Ever since Sirius... Well, it's been a little over a year, but Remus still refuses to let go."

"If anyone can get him to move on, it would be Xander." Andrew said, smiling mostly to himself. "Xander is like a White Knight who rescues you from mortal peril. He's like the prince from The Little Mermaid."

"Who?" Molly tilted her head.

"Muggle children's movie." Andrew explained.

xxx

"Albus, I don't think this is a good idea." Remus' voice drifted from the library. Xander had honestly not meant to eavesdrop. He had been reading up on some of the beginner's books in the library, and on his way to returning his latest book he came across a tense conversation between Remus and a man that looked like the wizard from Disney's Sword in the Stone.

"Remus, my boy." The bearded man, Albus, replied. "The students need a proper education. True, Voldemort is gone, but what's going to stop the next wizard who thinks he can control the world? These children need to be taught the consequences of dark magic and how to protect themselves from it. You are the one person I trust above anyone else."

"What about Severus?" Remus countered. "He's been wanting that job for a very long time."

"Severus wants it for the wrong reasons, Remus." Albus said softly. "He thinks that would be the best path for his redemption. He doesn't realize he's already reached a level of redemption that most will never see. He is my Potions Master, not my Dark Arts Master."

"But..." Remus sighed. "The parents would not like their students being taught by a werewolf, Albus. Do you expect them to just bow down to your decision?"

"Not really." Albus said honestly, before pulling something out of his pocket. He held out his hand, revealing it to be filled with little yellow candies. Xander fought the temptation to run in and grab some. "Lemon drop?"

"No, thank you." Remus waved them away.

"Remus, we need you. I need you." Albus told him, peering over his half-moon spectacles. Remus stared at him for a moment, before sighing dramatically.

"Fine." Remus muttered. "But I'm letting you open all of my hate mail."

"I doubt that will happen. You helped lead the attack on the Death Eaters, my boy! The Wizarding World respects you."

"I often wonder, sir, if your little world is accessible to others." Remus commented. Albus chuckled.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts." Albus winked.

Xander turned away from the library and rested his back against the wall. A jolt of excitement crashed through him. Remus was going to Hogwarts with him! He'd get to see him everyday, including those wonderful golden eyes. Xander sighed happily, before his back stiffened.

Why was he so excited anyway? It was just Remus. A nice guy, with a sexy voice and beautiful eyes. But Xander wasn't gay. He didn't like guys... Except that crush he had in high school on Oz, but that wasn't much of anything. Xander didn't want to be crushing on someone who was at least ten years older than him, if not more. A man. A werewolf. A wizard for crying out loud!

Xander took a deep breath. "Okay, what would Willow say?"

Xander mentally cursed himself for even asking that question. Willow would probably slap him aside his head and ask why it took him so long to realize he was attracted to men in the first place. Not that he was... Oh, great. Xander straightened up and walked back to his room. After living on the Hellmouth for most of his life, experiencing men trying to grab at his essentials during that eventful stay in Oxford, and rooming with both Spike and Andrew? It was no wonder he was gay.

"Why do you do this to yourself, Xander?" He asked himself. "Couldn't just be normal, could you? Just had to take a moment to realize things. Isn't ignorance bliss? Or have you forgotten that key factor?"

"What key factor?"

"Argh!" Xander jumped in shock and focused his single eye on Ginny. "Don't do that! You'll soon learn that's a good way to get yourself staked."

"With a book?" Ginny asked looking at the thin hardback in his hands.

"You'd be amazed at the awesome power of the written word." Xander said in a very Giles-like voice. A small smile teased the corners of Ginny's mouth, but she said nothing. Coughing, Xander continued. "Anyway... Did you need something?"

"Not really." Ginny shrugged. "I just came to let you know that you should start packing."

"Pack?"

"We are leaving for Hogwarts in the morning." Ginny reminded him.

"What?" Xander gasped. "Oh no! I've got to get stuff prepared! I haven't even set up a schedule for your training. I don't even know where half of my stuff is!"

"Calm down, Xander." Ginny patted his shoulder. "Go through the house, room by room, and you'll get it all."

"Oh. Right. Good idea." Xander beamed at her, before walking off. Ginny shook her head, then continued though the hall until she reached the room Xander and Andrew shared. Inside, she could hear Andrew humming to himself. Peeking through the open doorway, she was greeted by Andrew dancing around the room, folding his clothes. Unable to restrain herself, Ginny broke into a fit of giggles.

"Oh my gosh!" Andrew exclaimed, jumping at the sound. He shot Ginny a half-hearted glare.

"Nice moves." Ginny commented.

"Oh, well, they aren't much." Andrew said, blushing slightly. "I've never been much of a dancer."

"Hmm, it shows."

"Well, pardon me, I'm no Backstreet Boy!" Andrew placed his hands on his hips in protest.

"Who?" Ginny asked.

"Oh, boy band of the late nineties." Andrew sighed. "I do miss the era of young, sexy dancing men."

"I'm sure you would." Ginny smirked.

"And what is that suppose to mean, young lady?" Andrew asked, turning back to his suitcase.

"I heard from a little bird that you have a thing for Professor Snape." Ginny told him, walking into the room and sitting on Xander's bed. Andrew shuffled his feet for a second and didn't respond. "You really do? Wow! This is great!"

"Huh?" Andrew frowned. "You mean you're not going to tease me like your brother, Ron?"

"Please." Ginny waved her hand dismissively. "Snape needs a bloody boyfriend, and fast. That man is so grumpy. He'd probably treat us students better if he had someone after his arse."

"Language!" Andrew reprimanded, but his was smiling.

"Anyway, I've got to go. But I highly encourage you to pursue Severus Snape." Ginny informed him sternly. "Not only will it make both of you happy, and Merlin knows that man needs to smile more, but it will also make for an entertaining year."

xxx

Xander had managed to locate the majority of his things. Though, honestly, he didn't want to know how a pair of his boxers ended up in the master bedroom. Xander had almost given up on getting that lone pair of underwear, due to the very large animal that lived in the room. They were his favorite pair, though.

Now he was standing in an office-like room, scanning it with his eye. There appeared to be nothing of his inside, but when he turned to leave something caught his attention. On the wall was a large family tree. It was moth eaten and looked as though no one had bothered to tend to it in years. Walking over, Xander noticed that certain names had been burnt off. Kneeling down, Xander narrowed his eye in attempt to read one of the bunt names. "Si...ck? Sir...ack! Sirack? No... It's longer than that..."

"Sirius Black." A soft voice informed him. Xander's face flushed for reasons he could not identify at the sound of Remus' voice.

"Ah, Sirius Black." Xander repeated. He could hear Remus walk over, his footsteps almost silent. Standing, Xander turned to look at him. He was shocked by the sad look that graced Remus' face. "Friend of yours?"

"You could say that." The tone indicated much more than friendship. "We went to school together. He was... Very important to me. He died last year. One of the first casualties of the second war."

"I'm sorry." Xander told him. Remus smiled sadly.

"I..." Remus started, but he trailed off.

"Anya died when we fought The First." Xander said. "She was my ex. We got engaged and I... Well, I left her at the altar. I still feel guilty, wondering if there was anything I could have done to save her."

"I understand." Remus nodded. "I often think the same thing."

"Maybe we should both just... move on?" Xander asked.

"I've been told that's what I need to do." Remus replied. "I'm afraid... That I have difficulty with that, though. I do not want to forget him."

"I don't think you can." Xander said, honestly. "I can't forget Anya."

"No, I suppose I couldn't forget him. I highly doubt he would let me, anyway." Remus said. Remus shook his head and turned back toward the door. "It's getting late, perhaps we should turn in?"

"Sounds like a plan." Xander smiled. Remus stared at him a moment, his gold eyes thoughtful, before sending him a small smile. Xander felt a little foolish, knowing that his tiny smile was sending a wave of calm and happiness through him. Xander could only imagine what a full blown smile would do. And to think, he thought growing up would get him over these emotions that caused unexplainable crushes.

xxx

"What is it with this place and their brick walls?" Andrew asked, trying to be quiet. This of course caused half of the train station's patrons to glance over.

"It's a good cover up, dear." Molly replied. "Besides, muggles can't access the platform."

"Then how am I suppose to get over there?" Xander asked nervously, reaching up and adjusting his eye patch for the fiftieth time that morning.

"I don't think there will be a problem with that, Xander." Remus said. Xander fought down the instinct to jump at the sound of the soft voice behind him. Remus smiled slightly at the reaction. "You seem to have a certain level of magic."

"Me? Magic?" Xander snorted.

"It's a residue effect of being born of the Hellmouth." Andrew announced with a wise look. "Every resident had the ability to do a certain level of magic. It's just different with each person. I can't do any of Willow's magic, but I can summon a league of demons for my bidding."

"I'm not magical, Andrew." Xander insisted, feeling uncomfortable with the conversation.

"You're a rock." Andrew said.

"Huh?"

"You can withstand a great load. You're the support others need." Andrew replied. "Not everyone can handle all the stuff you've had to deal with. That's your magic."

"That's not magic." Xander told him.

"Well, walk through the wall and see." Andrew said, his voice threatening to turn whiney. Xander sighed and stared down the small brick wall that separated one train platform from another. Supposedly, Platform Nine and Three-Quarters was on the other side.

"If I run into anything solid, you're to be blamed." Xander pointed at Andrew. Andrew's blue eyes widened slightly, before darting around and avoiding his gaze.

Taking a deep breath, Xander stepped up to the wall and walked right through it. He came out on the other side, facing a large space buzzing with young teens. A few parents could be seen here and there, but the majority were clusters of students chatting and laughing together. Stationed at the platform was a large, sleek train. Xander gazed up at it in awe.

"See! I was right." Andrew bounced up behind him, followed by their large troupe of redheads. Remus came up the rear, his eyes gazing calmly across the area.

"Yeah, yeah." Xander muttered, tearing his eyes away from Remus.

"All right, everyone." Molly clapped her hands. "You all have a wonderful year. Ron, Harry, and Hermione? Please behave yourselves."

"Mum!" Ron protested.

"Shush, Ron." Molly replied. "Ginny, be good. And remember, just because you're a Slayer now does not mean you should neglect your studies. Xander will be writing me about your progress, so I will know."

"Yeah, okay." Ginny said absently, her eyes not even looking in the direction of her mother. Xander followed her line of sight and spotted a pale blonde who resembled Spike more than Xander appreciated. The blonde was talking to a shorter boy, with sandy blonde hair. Talking was an understatement, for the shorter boy was cringing away from the other. Xander blinked. The pale boy even sneered like Spike.

"Hugs!" Molly demanded, not even bothered by Ginny's lack of interest in her lecture. Hugs were given all around, twice for Andrew due to his sneakiness, and finally the large group were set free to board the train.

Xander knew before Ginny even moved that the moment Molly and Arthur disappeared through the wall that she was heading in the direction of the two blondes. He didn't intercept, but did follow along side her to see what she would do. Andrew followed at a distance, too busy taking in the sights and sounds to really pay attention.

"Leave him alone, Malfoy." Ginny growled in an imitation that matched a wolf perfectly.

"Well, if it isn't the youngest Weasel." Malfoy turned, looking perfectly bored.

"Hey, Neville." Ginny greeted the other boy, who smiled weakly back. Xander fought back a cringe, having seen this scene many times in high school. It was horrible to have your friend, who was a girl, protect you from a bully. Especially when she was a Slayer.

"Hi, Ginny." Neville mumbled.

"Why don't you continue on your merry way, Weasley?" Malfoy suggested, raising an eyebrow. Xander shuddered. He was like a carbon copy of Spike. "Me and Longbottom were having a little chat."

Xander had a sudden flash back to high school. This scene reminded him of many encounters with Larry, who turned out to be, well, gay. And possibly having the hots for Xander himself. Huh. Xander looked pensively at the boy called Malfoy.

"Come on, Neville, let's share a booth." Ginny offered, ignoring Malfoy.

"Bloody female." Draco Malfoy muttered, turning and stalking away.

"Wow, talk about strange. He looks just like-"

"Spike." Xander finished for Andrew. "Yeah, I know. It's creepy. Let's get on the train. I want to sit down."

"And find Remus." Andrew added, smiling sweetly at Xander. Xander glared.

xxx

"Are we there yet?" Andrew asked, bouncing around in his seat. Remus held back a smile as Xander sent the blonde a glare.

"No."

"How would you know? You've never been there." Andrew pointed out, before darting over to the window.

"I'd suspect they would stop the train if we were there." Xander replied.

"Oh."

Silence descended the compartment.

"...Are we there yet?"

"No!" Xander snapped. Andrew rolled his eyes.

"I was just asking." Andrew pouted. Xander sighed. "So... When will we get there?"

xxx

Some things never ceased to amaze Andrew. He couldn't help it. Everything was, really, very shiny and attractive. Life was great, unless you were killing people. Then it's not so fun. ...What was he talking about again? Oh, yeah, things never ceased to amaze him. And this was no different. Hogwarts was a fantasy novel come to life. It had towers and ghosts. Elves and strange creatures. Most of all, it was filled with magic. Andrew could simply feel it.

Andrew was a summoner, after all. It was what he was good at: summoning demons and learning their languages. Though, he didn't get to do that much anymore. He had found that the Watcher's Council, despite their recent upgrades, were still very anti-demon, no matter how helpful one could be. Which left Andrew with the job of secretary er, assistant to one Xander Harris. Which wasn't so bad, really. Xander was nice and even nicer to look at.

Not that Andrew looked at Xander in that way. Oh, no. His eyes were for Severus Snape and Severus Snape alone. A spark of evil flashed in Andrew's eyes. Oh, yes. He was so going to become Severus' boyfriend.

"Andrew? Why are you cackling like that?" Xander asked, raising an eyebrow at Andrew.

"I wasn't... cackling." Andrew said, in a bad attempt at lying. Xander stared at him a moment, before sharing an amused look with Remus.

"We should get to the Great Hall. The welcoming feast should be starting soon." Remus said. Andrew wanted so badly to roll his eyes at the way Xander beamed at him. He knew he couldn't, knew that he wouldn't. He figured he was just as bad when talking about Severus Snape, the Potions Master. Boy, he loved that title.

After standing in the Great Hall for ten minutes, staring up at the ceiling in awe, the two newcomers finally managed to sit down at the teacher's table. Xander felt decidedly uncomfortable there. Andrew was too busy staring at Severus to realize students kept sending confused looks their way.

"Welcome to another year of Hogwarts!" Albus Dumbledore announced, standing. "I have a small announcement to make before we eat. I would like to welcome back Remus Lupin, who shall be returning to the position of teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. Let me also introduce two people that I'm sure you will be in contact with at one time or another." Albus gestured for Xander and Andrew to stand. Andrew bounced up to his feet, sending Severus a grin who ignored him.

"Calm down." Xander hissed into his ear.

"But isn't this exiting? This place is amazing. It screams with energy and magic." Andrew whispered back. Xander frowned. He couldn't feel anything.

"I would like you all to welcome Alexander Harris and Andrew Wells." Albus introduced. "As many of you are aware, what with the reports in the Daily Prophet, there was a great battle in America not too long ago. These two young men fought alongside the warriors known as Slayers. Now, they come to Hogwarts with a mission, in hopes to aid in one student's destiny."

Silence reigned after this little tale. Students shared looks. Severus rolled his eyes. Xander blushed and turned to Andrew. "A bit dramatic, don't you think?" A chuckled echoed through the hall, too late for Xander to realize he'd spoken loudly. "Uh, oops."

"Say something." Andrew told him. "They are all staring at us."

"Including Snape." Xander whispered. Andrew blushed heavily and Xander felt a small sense of pride in making Andrew turn that red. Clearing his throat, he turned toward the large room of teens. "Uhh, hello tea drinkers of the world! You all can call me Xander. I'm a Watcher... Uh... I... Watch? This is Andrew!"

Andrew squeaked when Xander sat down, leaving the blonde to stand there by himself. He stood there a moment, before turning and digging into his backpack next to his chair. Standing, he produced his camera. Andrew flipped it open and attempted to turn it on. There was the sound of static, then nothing. Andrew's blue eyes opened wide with shock and terror.

"I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Wells, but muggle electronics don't work here." Dumbledore said softly.

"What?" Andrew asked, his lower lip quivering. "Doesn't... work?"

"No, the magic interferes with it." Dumbledore replied. Andrew suddenly fell to his knees, banging his head on the table in the process, and let out a pain filled howl.

"My precious!" He screamed. A thump was heard as Xander banged his head on the table, groaning with embarrassment.

xxx

"Was that really necessary?" Remus asked, his voice filled with concern. Xander blushed heavily, holding the packet of numbing ice to his bruised forehead. He watched as Remus settled down in the chair next to his hospital bed, his blush rising when Remus smiled at him.

"It was stupid, but I was hoping to get rid of the ringing that Andrew's screams created."

"I think you just created more ringing." Remus commented. "Here, let me see."

Xander brought the pack away from his head, watching with a wide eye as Remus leaned in close to inspect the whelp. When Remus pulled away, he was smiling. "What?"

"Nothing." Remus said, suddenly looking flustered.

"No, what is it? It's going to leave a mark isn't it? Oh god. Over seven years of fighting off vamps and I'm going to be killed by banging my head on a table." Xander babbled. "Stupid Andrew. Stupid Giles. Making me a Watcher. What the hell was he thinking? What does he put in that tea of his anyway? Why are you looking at me like that? Did you know you have really gold eyes? They are so pretty. Pretty-pretties... Cripes. I think I hit my head too hard."

"Calm down, Xander." Remus ordered, placing his hand on Xander's shoulder. Xander vaguely noticed it was warm.

"Calm. I can do calm." Xander nodded. "Your hand is warm."

"Umm, thank you." Remus gave him a slightly confused look, before standing and gesturing toward the nurse, Madame Pomfrey. "What exactly did you give him?"

"Just a little Hammer Toad Wart." Pomfrey whispered.

"He must have an allergic reaction." Remus said. "He's delirious."

"Nope, I'm fine!" Xander grinned, his eyes starting to glaze over. "Remmie, Remus, Remmie-Rem."

"Yes, Xander?" Remus asked, returning to his side.

"Like your name. Do you have a brother named Romulus? Is that what his name was? I can't really remember..." Xander trailed off, before blinking at him. "You're cute."

"Umm, well, thank you." Remus replied, a soft blush developing on his cheeks. A giggle could be heard behind him by Pomfrey.

"Pretty eyes." Xander mumbled, before falling to sleep with a snore.

"I think he likes you." Pomfrey teased, her eyes twinkling.

"Hmm." Was the werewolf's reaction.

"Come on, Remus." Pomfrey patted his shoulder. "It's rather obvious. Well, he likes your eyes at any rate."

"Yes." Remus muttered, still staring at Xander's sleeping form.

"Hmmm, I think he's not the only one with a crush." Pomfrey said happily. Remus didn't reply.

xxx

Andrew carefully straightened his newly acquired robes. Taking a deep breath, he peeked through the small door window. Past the door was a classroom, with a room filled with green and scarlet clothed students and bubbling cauldrons. Andrew felt a moment of giddiness, which he quickly hid. There, inside that classroom, was Severus Snape: Potions Master.

"Who is it?" A velvety voice asked. Andrew blinked in shock at the open door. All his daydreaming had left him unable to notice the events around him, even Severus swinging the door open to glare at him.

"H-hello." Andrew squeaked.

"Oh, it's you." Severus' black eyes looked skyward a moment, before sighing. "Is there a particular reason you are interrupting my class, Mr. Wells?"

"Please, call me Andrew." He replied, trying to look suave. The result was, of course, a constipated expression. When Severus moved to shut the door in his face, Andrew bounced to attention. "Wait! I just wanted to take a look into your class. I mean, I've done some magic and all, but never really dived into the amazing world of potions. I'm more of the ritual kind of guy."

"Indeed." Severus said, before holding the door open. Andrew slipped past him with a blushing smile. Severus watched the young man as he immediately begin darting around the room. A foul look crossed his face.

The day really had gone down hill.

Shaking his head slightly, Severus swept to the front of the room and proceeded to watch the idiots known as students attempt to brew a potion. Andrew bounced around him, peering into Potter's cauldron, tutting, and then proceeding to the next one. Andrew tutted again. At the next cauldron, he made a distressed noise.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Wells?" Severus asked. "If the smell bothers you, feel free-"

"No!" Andrew shook his head. "It's just... Well, they aren't measuring the Dragon's Horn properly. If they keep brewing at this rate, then when they add the final ingredient the potion will explode."

"Potter!" Severus snapped. "How much Dragon's Horn did you add to your cauldron?"

"Three teaspoons." Harry replied softly. Severus gritted his teeth.

"Longbottom?"

"T-the s-s-same." Neville stuttered out.

"Tell me, class, which of you used the correct amount of seen teaspoons of Dragon's Horn?" Severus asked, crossing his arms. Only a few Slytherin's, and Hermione, raised their hands. Severus' eyes narrowed. "All students who used less than the required amount will clean their supplies, dump out the potion, and write me a two foot essay on why you should have used more Dragon's Horn." A groan swept through the room. "Those of you that have a brain will bottle your potions and continue your brewing on Friday. Class is dismissed."

Once the last student left the classroom, Severus tried hard to ignore Andrew's presence. The blonde boy no, really more of a man kept hovering over him as he graded his papers. Letting out a sigh of agitation, Severus looked up at Andrew.

"May I help you?" Severus asked through gritted teeth.

"Oh, nothing." Andrew said, sighing softly. Severus decided he needed to draw the man's attention away from staring at his nose.

"Do tell, how is it you knew that the amount of Dragon's Horn was wrong?" Severus asked, shuffling his papers in an attempt to not look curious.

"Oh, well, you see when you summon a fire demon of some sort it's best to add a large quantity of Dragon's Horn to your ritual. It helps keep the demon from catching everyone on fire or causing explosions. It only made sense that the same would apply to potions." Andrew explained.

"I see." Severus said. He tried his best to not look impressed. Because he wasn't. Impressed, that is.

"So.. I was wondering." Andrew said, sliding up closer to the desk. Severus' eyebrow raised. "I mean, I just thought that maybe we... That is, you and me. Well, we could-"

"Hey, Andrew!" Xander interrupted. Andrew's back tensed and he shot Xander an agitated look. "Sorry, was I interrupting something?"

"Not at all, Mr. Harris." Severus calmly replied, sending Andrew a strange look.

"Uh, right." Xander cleared his throat. "Andrew, it's time."

"Really?" Andrew's eyes widened. "I think I'm going to throw up."

xxx

"Right." Xander coughed out, holding his stomach. "I think that's enough for today."

"Are you okay?" Ginny asked, her eyes wide. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Fine." Xander squeaked.

"Oh, Merlin. Let me help you up." Ginny reached out and took a hold of Xander's hand. She pulled, but miscalculated her strength, sending Xander flying against her. Both fell onto the floor, Xander on top of the new Slayer. "It's a good thing Andrew left, I might have thrown you into him. Sorry."

"No, no." Xander sat up. "It's fine. First practice sessions are always difficult."

"Does every Slayer beat up their Watcher?" Ginny asked mournfully.

"Actually... I think they do." Xander replied, helping Ginny stand. "Giles has the record for the most concussions."

"I don't mean to hurt you." Ginny said.

"That's the problem." Xander rested a hand on her shoulder, more to help him catch his breath than for comfort. "You're thinking too much. When you're out there battling a vampire, there isn't time to really think. You simply are."

"That was poetic." Ginny commented.

"Yeah." Xander nodded in agreement. Ginny chuckled. "Well, Mini-Red, let's get you to Defense Against the Dark Arts class. I heard you have a werewolf teaching this year. Could prove to be interesting."

"I think you just want a glimpse at Professor Lupin." Ginny said, grinning.

"You wound me. I am here to protect you from the darkness of the great beyond! To help direct you to the true path of the Slayer. Not to flirt and check out your teachers."

"Sure." Ginny nodded, her grin turning sly. "And I have the hots for Malfoy."

"What is it with that boy?" Xander asked, leading Ginny through the corridors of Hogwarts.

"He has a constant pole up his arse." Ginny replied calmly.

"Huh. I bet that hurts." Xander said. Ginny snorted in response. They stopped in front of the classroom door. "Well, here is where I leave you, my lady."

"You should come inside." Ginny told him.

"Nah." Xander waved a hand.

"Actually, I was hoping Xander would join us." Remus commented, interrupting their conversation. Xander felt himself develop a dopey smile on his face.

"Really?" Xander asked, sounding more hopeful than he intended.

"I think your experiences with various dark creatures would prove to be enlightening." Remus told him.

"Well, I don- Ow!" Xander shot a glare at Ginny, who had just pinched him. She gave him a pointed look, before entering the classroom. "Okay. I'd love to."

xxx

"Oh, great. What's he doing here?" A strangely familiar voice asked snidely. Xander raised an eyebrow at the pale blonde that was entering the classroom with a group of Slytherin students behind him. He had survived Ginny's class and was now planning on sitting through the seventh years. "He's not even a wizard. It's bad enough we have that animal teach-"

"Hey!" Xander interrupted, taking a step forward. Remus remained at his desk, watching them with his golden eyes. "Have you ever watched a werewolf change?"

"No." Draco Malfoy replied, snorting softly.

"Really? Have you ever encountered a werewolf in their wolf form?" Xander asked. Draco glared at him, and slowly shook his head no. "Well, then. I think you have a few things to learn about animals, Mr. Malfoy."

"Class, I'm sure you all remember Mr. Harris." Remus said loudly, signaling for the students to take their seats. "He's going to be joining us for this class, and many in the future if I can talk him into it."

"I'm sure you can." Xander told him, smiling. Remus looked at him a moment, the subtle hint of a blush forming on his cheeks, before returning to the class.

"As I was saying," Remus continued. "Mr. Harris has a lot of information he will be able to give you in your studies. From vampires to various forms of magic and demonology. Now, this year we will be working at discerning myth from reality. In the wizarding world, the Slayer is considered a myth. Mr. Harris, what can you tell us about this myth?"

"Well, for starters it's not a myth." Xander said. "Into every generation, blah, blah, blah. A bunch of wimpy men decided to use a girl to fight demons, instead of doing it themselves. They chained her to the earth and gave her the strength and power to defeat the darkness. Buffy was the last of this single line. And now, after some mojo by a friend, all the Slayers are activated. If you're born with the potential, you receive the power. No more one into every generation crap."

"Very good. Now, can anyone tell me the types of things Slayers battle?" Remus asked the class. Xander sat down at the desk, watching with a small smile as Remus lead the discussion.

"Vampires?" One girl in Gryffindor robes replied.

"Yes, exactly. Anything else?"

"I'd suspect they kill werewolves." Draco said snidely. Remus' back stiffened slightly at Draco's remark, sending a wave of anger through Xander. Unable to take the smug look on Draco's face, Xander stood up.

"Well, Mr. Malfoy, I think there is something that has you very confused." Xander said, trying to keep the hiss out of his voice.

"Do I?" Draco calmly asked.

"Mr. Malfoy, you will treat Mr. Harris with the same respect that you would bestow upon any professor at Hogwarts." Remus ordered.

"Yes, Professor." Draco said, saying the title with as much venom as he could muster.

"Mr. Malfoy, may I call you Draco?" Xander asked, then continued without waiting for a reply. "There are things that can't be defined as evil and good. Surely, Draco, you can understand that simple notion? You are, after all, at the age I was when I started figuring it out myself. Werewolves are not evil. They are humans who have been touched by something supernatural, that takes over every full moon. That does not make them evil. Now, it was once a custom with the Slayers to kill all things that were shaded gray or black. That's not the way things work now.

"A werewolf is not an animal. If you watch a wolf and then watch a transformed werewolf, you would understand this. They are powerful, and sometimes dangerous, beings. But that's only once a month. Every other day, they are no different than you or me. So, I think, Draco, what you should worry more about is if you can trust humans, because you are certainly around them a lot longer than you are werewolves."

"You can't trust either." Draco replied with a voice that held too much truth. Xander frowned, backing off his high horse as he saw the look on Draco's face.

xxx

"Can I ask you something?" Xander asked as he dug his toes further into the dirt. The moon was high in the sky, it's half-shaded face shining down across the lake. Xander tried to ignore the tentacle sticking from the silk surface, focusing instead on Remus' shoed feet.

"Certainly."

"What is Draco Malfoy's story?" Xander questioned, leaning back on his palms. Remus rested his arms on his knees, staring out at the lake with eyes that nearly glowed in the darkness. "Don't brood on me, Remus."

"His father was Voldemort's right hand man." Remus replied, his voice hoarse. "Draco was always meant to follow in his father's footsteps and become a Death Eater. The night we ambushed Voldemort's hide out, Draco was there. His father had arranged for Draco to receive the Dark Mark, a symbol of Voldemort, despite Draco being underage. We later found out that Draco had no clue that was going to happen, and that, while Draco was not a supporter of Albus, he wasn't a follower of Voldemort." Remus chuckled softly.

"He called Voldemort a dirty half-blood during interrogation." Remus said. "Anyway, during the attack, Lucius was to protect Voldemort. After dealing with a certain Death Eater by the name of Bellatrix, I went one on one with Lucius in hope that Harry and Albus would be able to defeat Voldemort."

"Then what happened?" Xander asked, scooting closer to Remus. He fought the desire to grab a hold of Remus' hand, knowing Remus didn't really need his comforting.

"Draco had been shoved into a corner. He was scared." Remus eyes were large, as though he was reliving the battle again in his mind. "I could feel his eyes on us, as we threw curse after curse against one another. Lucius... He was a mad man. He wouldn't stop no matter what. I would like to say I had no other choice for what I did, but that would be a lie. There were a hundred other curses I could of used." Remus' eyes closed a moment, before reopening. "I cast the Cruciatus Curse on Draco's father."

"What's the croo-ci-whatis?" Xander finally gave in, slipping his hand into Remus'. Remus glanced over at him.

"It's an Unforgivable. It causes severe pain to the muscles and inner organs. The result is usually inner bleeding, or insanity, depending on how long the curse is held and its intensity." Remus sighed. "Anyway... Draco watched me torture his father. It's no wonder he hates me. His father had always taught him intolerance, to hate what wasn't the same as himself. Draco just hates me a bit more than most. He uses me being a werewolf as an excuse."

"Then there is hope for him yet." Xander told him.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked, turning questioning eyes on Xander.

"When you're young, your parents always try to force their views on you." Xander shrugged. "It doesn't always work, though. Didn't work on me. It won't work on Draco. He's too stubborn to follow someone else's example, I can tell."

"How is it you're so sure?" Remus questioned, turned to look at him fully. He didn't, however, let go of Xander's hand.

"I'm just brilliant like that." Xander grinned.

"Hmm." Was Remus' reply.

xxx

"Hey, Andrew." Xander greeted, before stuffing a roll into his mouth. Andrew slid into the seat next to him, staring forward. Xander frowned and tried again, his voice muffled by the bread. "Anfrew?"

"What?" Andrew snapped, turning his big blue eyes onto him. Xander raised an eyebrow and swallowed.

"Nothing, sheesh." There was a moment's pause.

"I know." Andrew hissed. Xander looked over, his spoon filled with scrambled eggs hovering in the air. Andrew nodded, his eyes narrowed. "Oh, yes, I know. You're so happy, aren't you? You have your man. Well, we can't all have what we want, can we?"

"Andrew... What. Are. You. Going. On. About?" Xander said slowly.

"I saw you!" Andrew exclaimed, leaping to his feet. His voice sounded high pitched and emotional. Students were looking up from their breakfast. Even Severus was taking a moment to look over. Silence had officially descended the Great Hall, so when Andrew spoke next his words bounced off the high ceiling. "I saw you last night with Remus."

"What? So?" Xander blinked, not comprehending.

"You think you can just do that! Go along with your little love affair, while I'm left with nothing!" Andrew cried. Xander frowned. This almost sounded as though Xander was cheating on Andrew, which just wasn't true. Xander was suddenly thankful Remus hadn't shown up for breakfast just yet.

"Andrew-"

"It's just not fair! I want my own professor!" Andrew whined loudly. "Stupid Potions Master!"

With that said, Andrew spun on his heel and stormed out of the Great Hall. Severus stared after him, an all too common look of confusion on the poor man's face. Sighing, Xander poked at his scrambled eggs. Andrew was becoming quite the handful. If only Severus would get a clue and let the poor geek seduce him already.

"Mr. Harris." Albus said softly.

"Call me Xander." Xander automatically replied.

"Xander, yes." Albus nodded. "I was just curious... Is it simply an American thing or is Andrew very high strung?"

"Oh, us Americans have great pep." Xander said. "But Andrew simply has difficulty channeling the proper amount of energy into his day to day activity."

"Ah, I see." Albus nodded, before looking thoughtfully down the table at his Potions Master. "Severus could use some pep."

"Nice to know you support Andrew's endeavors." Xander chuckled.

"I support Remus and you, as well." Albus said, looking over the rims of his glasses. Xander blushed heavily.

xxx

"Ladies- Oh, sorry, Slayers and gentlemen! I present to you the amazing toolbox." Xander announced, bouncing into Ginny's training room. Ginny, the lone occupant, looked up from one of her demonology books. Xander grinned, setting his large toolbox on the ground, next to a broken table.

"You know I could fix that with magic, right?" Ginny said, holding her book open to her chest as she walked over to watch Xander work. "I did break it after all."

"First of all, you broke it to kill one massive vampire, which Andrew could not control after summoning." Xander replied. "Good thinking, using the table leg, by the way. Secondly, how dare you even talk about destroying the beauty that is carpentry with magic."

"Terribly sorry, Watcher of mine." Ginny snorted. Xander smiled and continued screwing the table back together. After a moments work he stepped back with a satisfied look. Ginny nodded her approval. "Lovely."

"And those idiots at the construction site said I couldn't do my job anymore." Xander let out a fake bark of laughter, before adjusting his eye patch. He turned to Ginny, tilting his head in an attempt at reading the title of her book. "Enjoying your studies?"

"It's very fascinating, I must say." Ginny replied. "It was in Ancient Greek, but after a quick translation spell I could read it with no problem. Though, some of the pictures." Ginny looked down into the book's depths. "So strange. Look at that horn..." Xander grinned, waiting for her reaction. "Oh... I see. Not a horn."

"Well, I'll leave you to your... horns." Xander told her. Ginny shot him a dark look, before twisting the book to get a better look at the picture.

"Go play with Professor Lupin." Ginny ordered.

"Well, not when you make it sound so naughty." Xander frowned. Ginny merely grinned in reply. "Besides, I have things to do. Like torture my Slayer with questions about homework and boys."

"Oh, great. Another letter to mum, then?" Ginny groaned dramatically. "Please don't tell her about my detention. I didn't mean to turn Malfoy's hair pink. It just kind of... happened."

"I'm sure it did. Just like the deliberate words just kind of popped out of your mouth, hmm?" Xander smirked.

"If you tell her, then I'll tell her about you having Andrew summon a vampire twice my size." Ginny countered.

"Ooohhh, scary." Xander grinned, before grimacing. "Come to think of it... Molly Weasley, breathing down my back about hurting her baby girl? Maybe I'll focus on your excellent grades."

"Might be a good idea."

"By the way, I was thinking of talking to Albus about a little field trip." Xander commented. "You can't simply get training with Andrew summoning vampires and the soft demon or two. So, I was thinking, Halloween weekend? A nice trip to the nearest muggle city? Making a cemetery stop or two? Hmm?"

"Really?" Ginny asked, looking skeptical. Xander nodded and the redhead broke into an excited grin. "Oh, wow! This is great!"

"I know. I know." Xander sighed. "I am amazing."

"Whatever, Watcher-boy."


	2. part 2

Title: A Magical Kind of Comedy, Part 2

Author: frkwerewolf

Fandom: Buffy/Harry Potter Crossover

Pairings: Xander/Remus, Andrew/Severus, bits of other pairings (Spike, Ginny?)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: A Slayer is activated at Hogwarts and Xander is sent to train her. Of course, Andrew comes along.

Setting: Post-"Chosen", Post-"OotP", Spoilers for Season 5 of Angel

* * *

Xander whistled to himself as he exited the training room. He hoped Albus would agree to the field trip. It was difficult to train a Slayer in such a controlled environment, after all.

"Xander?" Remus' voice called from behind him. Xander felt rather stupid, as the simple sound of Remus voice made the day even brighter. Bouncing around, Xander grinned at the werewolf. "I see you're in a good mood."

"Well, I just came up with an excellent idea involving my Slayer and a horde of fresh vampires. Sending a young girl into possible death, what's more to love?" Xander replied.

"Uh, yes, well." Remus chuckled. "I was coming by to ask something of you, if you have the time."

"I have all the time in the world for you." Xander found himself saying. Remus blinked his gold eyes at him. Xander grimaced, but held back the apology threatening at his throat. "Umm, anyway. What's up?"

"I'm planning on a segment for the seventh years on vampires." Remus said. "I was wondering if it would be okay if Andrew summoned one for us."

"Uh, seventh years?" Xander shook his head. "Without Ginny to help with the slayage, I don't think that's a good idea. And heaven forbid I take her away from her precious Potions class. Maybe... Well, maybe we could have a visitor?"

"That shouldn't be a problem." Remus said. "Do you have someone in mind? Another Slayer, perhaps?"

"No, not another Slayer." Xander frowned. "I can't believe I'm suggesting this, but I might be able to get you a vampire. An annoying vampire with a soul, but a vampire none the less."

"Do you think you could? It would be great to present to the class. Hermione has been asking question after question, half of which you can't even find the answers to in books." Remus said, smiling.

"Well, I'd have to fire call him." Xander suddenly grinned. "I can't wait to see his reaction to sticking his head in a fire!"

xxx

"Mr. Wells, is there a particular reason for your standing outside my office door?" Severus asked the strange American. Andrew gazed up at him with watery blue eyes. Sighing, Severus cursed his luck and held the door open for the younger man to enter.

"Umm, I was wondering if I could borrow some... Menshroo Root." Andrew said, bouncing from foot to foot. Severus glided over to his desk, sat down, and narrowed his eyes before replying.

"Mr. Wells-"

"Call me Andrew."

"...Andrew." Severus said, finally giving in to the request the man had made for the past month. "The Menshroo Root is used in love potions and for mind control. Tell me, why would you need such an item?"

"Ummm..." Andrew fidgeted. "I was going to summon a demon?"

"What kind of demon?" Severus asked, making sure not to use his teacher's voice. He had found that Andrew's reaction to the teacher's voice was that of dilated pupils and panting.

"Er..." Andrew looked away, choosing to stare at the collection of vials sitting on Severus' shelves. "A Saltinea demon."

"Which does what, exactly?" Severus raised an eyebrow at the rising blush to Andrew's cheeks.

"Sets off a cloud of pheromones to cause those that breathe it in to fall in love with the first person they see." Andrew mumbled. Severus leaned back in his chair, eyes traveling to the ceiling, as he tried to figure out why Andrew would want to summon such a creature.

xxx

"When I agreed to your wizard connections, I had no idea this is what you meant. I'm not sticking my head into a fireplace, Wesley." The broody voice of the vampire known as Angel said. Xander snickered and shared a look with Remus, before returning his gaze to the blazing fire of Remus' office.

"It will not burn you." Wesley's cultured voice replied.

"I'm not sticking-"

"Will you just shut up and do it, Mr. Forehead?" Xander called out, exasperated. A small pop later and Angel's floating head was glaring at him.

"What do you want, Harris?" Angel asked with a world-weary sigh (patent pending).

"And a big hello to you as well. Angel, I'd like you to meet Remus. He's a teacher here at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was wondering if you would like to come visit his class. He teaches hormonal youngsters about dark creatures like yourself." Xander explained, getting right to the point.

"Hogwarts?" Angel frowned.

"A very prestigious magic school in Scotland." Wesley's voice explained.

"What are you doing there?" Angel asked Xander. Xander didn't miss the almost accusing look Angel gave him.

"I'm training a Slayer, Sir Broodiness." Xander replied, rolling his eyes.

"Oh." Angel's head bobbed, as though the vampire was shifting from foot to foot. "Look, I can't come myself, but... Well, there might be someone else I can send."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Wesley's voice inquired.

"Whoa! I'm not letting you send Harmony here. I heard about her working for you. No way." Xander shook his head.

"Who's Harmony?" Remus whispered.

"No, sadly I need her." Angel replied, sighing once more. "I was thinking of someone else. If you promise not to tell Buffy, I can send you Spike."

"He's not going to like this." Wesley's voice pointed out.

"Wait. Spike?" Xander asked. "Spike's dead. Well, more than the usual kind of dead. Remember? Big apocalypse with fireworks and ubervamps and Spike burning to a crisp?"

"Well, much to my own horror, Spike came back. There was this amulet and then Spike appeared." Angel replied in his bored tone. "He was a ghost for a while, then he took this trip through Hell-"

"You really like that place, don't you?"

"And then he got made corporeal." Angel continued, ignoring Xander's jab. "You would think he'd go away, now that he can leave the building. But, no, he stays just for my amusement. I'm fully willing to hand him over to you, however."

"Aren't you just sweet." Xander said snidely, before shrugging. "I'd rather have him than you, anyway."

"Why?" Angel asked, looking frustrated. "What's so great about Spike?"

"Don't stress, Oh Pouty One." Xander grinned. "Send the Big Bad on over."

"If we can find him." Wesley's voice muttered. With that said, Angel's head disappeared with a pop. Xander almost felt like dancing. While he was probably willing to do anything for Remus, if it meant getting that slight twinkle in his eyes, it was great that instead of having Angel come for a visit he was getting Spike. All was right with the world.

"So, who's Spike?" Remus asked, sitting down on his couch. Xander plopped down next to him, causing the werewolf to bounce in his seat.

"A vampire that actually earned his soul." Xander said. "I don't really like him, either, come to think of it, but he's better than Angel. Angel would have bored your students to death talking about how upsetting it was to be a vampire. Spike will go all out with gory details. Might even keep Draco from being snarky for one day."

xxx

"Look, it wasn't really a set plan." Andrew said, after the silence had started to eat away at his conscious.

"Is that so." Severus replied, raising a dark eyebrow. Andrew sighed dramatically.

"It was more of a back up plan, really. And... I didn't even have a first plan to start from. We are talking a very long time before I even considered the Saltinea demon!" Andrew babbled. "I wasn't really planning on setting him lose in your quarters and then conveniently waiting outside for your exit. Uh. Oops."

"I really do not know what to do about you, Andrew." Severus said slowly, showing no shock at Andrew's words.

"Umm, well, you could go out with me." Andrew suggested, his face blossoming into a bright red.

"Indeed." Severus muttered. "Is that what you want of me?"

"Urgh?" Andrew gulped, his mind flashing with millions of erotic images. Oh, he definitely wanted Severus for more than just dinner.

xxx

"So, I was wondering..." Xander said slowly, looking at Remus through the corner of his eye. "Would you like to come with Ginny and me to go vampire hunting on Halloween? If I can get Albus to agree, that is. If you don't want-"

"Xander." Remus interrupted the start of babble with a smile. "I'd love to, but there's a full moon that weekend."

"Shit." Xander cursed. Remus merely chuckled. Xander blushed slightly, looking down at his feet. The fire crackled pleasantly across the room, the only sound other than their breathing. It was pleasant, really. Xander always enjoyed spending time with Remus, and these quiet surroundings were perfect. Smiling to himself, Xander chose not to speak and simply enjoy the moment.

"Bloody hell!" The livid curse was echoed with a whoosh and pop from the fireplace. Xander groaned softly to himself, before looking over at the newest addition to the room. Spike looked the same: bleached hair, black leather duster, sharp cheekbones, and a sneer. Really, you'd think dying would change a person.

"Welcome to the land of magic, my friend." Xander said in a mystical voice. Spike narrowed his blue eyes.

"You gone off your rocker, mate?" Spike asked, stepping forward. He glanced at Remus, back at Xander, then at the couch. "Ohh, interrupt something, did I? Didn't think you had a beastie kink like Red, but there you have it. Figured if you'd turn to the other side you'd go after something demon-like. Can't get away can you, whelp?"

"Are you planning on shutting up anytime soon?" Xander asked calmly, inwardly grinning at Spike's antics. He hated to admit it, but he had missed the pale vampire.

"Haven't seen you in forever, Harris. Had to catch up with my insult quota." Spike replied.

"I figured Deadboy would be an easy target for you." Xander commented.

"Oh, he is a bloody blast to torment, as you well know." Spike grinned, his teeth flashing. "So, heard you were training a Slayer. What's that like?"

"She's a fiery redhead who enjoys destroying my tables and reading demon porn." Xander said. Remus snickered next to him. "I would report her to her mother, but I don't want Molly down my neck about abusing her poor baby."

"Just direct her attention to something Ron did." Remus said softly.

"I've done that twice already." Xander replied. "I think she's starting to suspect something." Xander suddenly leaped to his feet. "Anyway, Mr. Bloody! Let's take you to meet the Headmaster. He'll probably want to introduce you to people and embarrass you like he did me and Andrew."

"Whoa, Andrew is here?" Spike asked, before groaning dramatically. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but that boy has some issues when it comes to role models."

"Yeah, but I doubt he'll follow you around that much." Xander said. "He's kind of obsessed with the local Batman."

"I think he's there now, actually." Remus added.

"Poor Severus Snape." Xander said, shaking his head.

xxx

"What did you do to him?" Xander hissed, watching as Severus stormed out of the great Hall the next morning. Andrew slid even further into his chair, a grimace on his face. "Andrew... I know that you like the man, but haven't you ever heard the term 'be yourself'?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Andrew mumbled. "Where's Spike?"

"Hiding in the hallway." Xander snickered. "He didn't believe me when I told him the sun in here was magic and not able to burn him."

"I'm going to go to the library." Andrew sighed, standing. "I'm not very hungry."

"He's taking it rough." Remus commented from the other side of Xander.

"I know." Xander poked at his food. "Andrew has problems with his emotions. He tends to get a little.. dependant on them, I suppose is the best way to put it."

"They're opposites, then." Remus commented. "Severus never wants to admit his feelings. He's a little cold. Okay, really cold."

"Yeah." Xander took another stab at his food before feeling Remus' eyes on him. He glanced over, smiled slightly, before once again poking his food. "So... What's up for today's lessons?"

"I'm introducing Spike to the Slytherin and Gryffindor class today." Remus replied. "Would you like to come?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Xander grinned an almost evil grin. Remus shook his head, his lips turning upward slightly.

They quickly made their way to the classroom, meeting Spike along the way and easily beating the students. Remus made sure to go inside and block off all the windows before allowing Spike entrance. The class was now lit up with a few candles, making it look like a stage set in a haunted house. Spike walked along the back wall, poking at a few of Remus' displays. Spike finally looked up when the first group of students entered the classroom.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared at Spike speculatively. Harry and Ron began muttering to each other, and Spike easily heard the phrase 'check out that jacket!' in there somewhere. The bushy-haired girl stared at him with a look of pure awe. Spike felt like he was on display, something he normally would have no problem with. He quickly shuffled over to Xander. "Er, whelp, what's with her?"

"Huh? Oh, she knows you're a vampire." Xander replied, smirking. "Hermione is the Willow of the wizarding world."

"Bloody hell." Spike cursed, then glared at Xander's grinning face. The rest of the class had now arrived and Spike stared at all the teenagers with a slight sneer.

"Everyone," Remus started. "I would like to introduce to you Spike."

"Spike?" A snarky voice asked, before chortling. Spike growled low in his throat and stepped forward, looking for all the world like a true hunter of the night or perhaps hunter of the darkened classroom. Draco looked up at him, hardly impressed. "What kind of name is Spike?"

"Mr. Malfoy, please." Remus interrupted, before turning back to the classroom at large. "Class, Spike is a vampire."

Hermione's hand immediately shot up and began waving in the air. Remus looked skyward, before turning to Spike with a small (and not so innocent) smile. "The floor is yours."

Spike stared at the teenage girl, who looked to be in the throws of a heart attack. Or perhaps an orgasm. He wasn't sure, and the whole experience was making him antsy. He shot a quick glare at Xander, who was giggling next to Remus. Sighing, he turned back to the girl. "Yeah? What is it?"

"How exactly were you turned?" She asked.

"What's your name?" Spike asked in reply.

"Hermione Granger."

"Right, Herm." Spike said, crossing his arms. "I was turned in the late 1800s. I was a poncy little bugger, let me tell you, and was having a bit of a problem." Spike was hardly planning on telling them about the poetry and Cecily, that was for certain. "Anyway, this beautiful dark goddess approached me. Drusilla was bloody mad, but had this way of speaking that wrapped you around her little finger. So, she seduced me, bit me and then made me drink her blood. I awoke in a coffin, buried six feet under. After clawing and digging my way up, me and her had a spot of fun and shagged under the light of the moon."

"Wow." Ron looked impressed.

"Yeah, it was fun." Spike grinned. Hermione's hand shot up once more. "Yeah?"

"Is it true a vampire can put you under a thrall of some kind?" She asked, quill posed over her sheet of parchment in preparation of notes.

"Well, some can." Spike replied.

"Tell me about it." Xander muttered.

"Hey, yeah, did Xander here ever tell you about meeting Dracula?" Spike sent the brunette a truly evil grin. "Was the prince of darkness' butt-monkey."

"Hey, class, guess where Spike got the name William the Bloody?" Xander said through gritted teeth.

"Tell them about the Praying Mantis, Xander. The one that Willow probably still won't let go?" Spike countered. Xander's eyes narrowed and he took a step forward.

"At least people are attracted to me. They may want to kill me in the process, but at least I'm not dumped by a psycho vampire for a Chaos demon!" Xander growled.

"Guys?" Remus interrupted.

"Geeze, this class is going to the house elves." Draco could be heard muttering. "First this weak excuse of a vampire, what next?"

"Pardon?" Spike turned to the pale blonde. "Did you call me weak?"

"What if I did?" Draco raised his head defiantly. Spike stared at him a moment, before smirking.

"Who would like to hear about how I earned the name Spike?" Spike asked the class at large. He eyes remained on Draco's, ignoring Hermione's hand shooting up in agreement.

xxx

"I think you traumatized them for life, Spike." Xander told the vampire as they entered the Slayer's training room. Ginny was already there, curled up in the corner with another demonology book. Xander was really going to have to talk to Andrew about giving those to her. With the way she had it tilted, he knew very well what she was looking at.

"Wasn't that the point?" Spike looked genuinely shocked at this news. Chuckling, Xander grabbed one of the knives off the wall and threw it at Ginny. The redhead's hand shot up and snatched it out of the air, before turning annoyed brown eyes to Xander.

"You should be happy I wasn't reading McFarland's Book of Demon-Spawn." Ginny told him, standing up and placing her book on the bookshelf.

"Told you." Xander said to Spike. "Demon porn."

"Least she'll be prepared if a Kreelawn demon tried to impregnate her." Spike commented. Ginny walked over to them, standing next to Spike. The short redhead looked up at him with a wicked grin.

"Oh, you mean by imbedding their seed under the skin of your right knee?" She asked. "Followed of course by the ritual orgy."

"That would be the one." Spike replied, looking rather impressed.

"God, your mother is going to kill me." Xander said, shaking his head. Ginny simply grinned and scratch absentmindedly at her arm. "Well, Spike, care to teach Ginny the true meaning of the word vampire?"

"Love to, mate." Spike grinned, before shifting into game face. Ginny stared at him a moment, before breaking out into that wicked grin once more. Then, as they say, the fight was on.

xxx

"I have a plan." Ginny announced. Andrew looked up from the book in his hands. The library was nearly empty, having allowed Andrew the time he needed to mope. Sadly, it was broken by Ginny's sudden appearance.

"Plan?" Andrew asked. Ginny sat down next to him, wincing slightly. "What happened?"

"Hmm? Oh, I had to fight that Spike fellow today." Ginny replied, waving her hand dismissively. "I totally kicked his arse."

"Yeah, right." Andrew said under his breath.

"Heard that." Ginny said. "Now, my plan is about you and Snape."

"Forget it." Andrew said, the sadness evident in his voice. "He doesn't like me. He doesn't want me. It's hopeless. Our love was never meant to be, much like Luke and Leia... Except, well, me and Severus aren't brothers."

"I'm not even going to pretend to understand what you just said." Ginny told him. "Still, I do have a plan. It's not a very good plan, but it's something."

"All right." Andrew sighed. "Let's hear it."

"Okay." Ginny took a deep breath. "Tell him the truth."

"That's your great plan?" Andrew asked, raising an eyebrow. Ginny nodded in reply. "That's the lamest plan I've ever heard!"

"How is it lame?" Ginny asked, looking offended. Andrew briefly thought about how he really didn't want Ginny blowing her fiery redheaded top on him, but choked down his sudden Slayer fear and answered her.

"It has no true plot direction."

"There's a plot?" Ginny looked around the library in confusion. "What plot? Do you want to just get into his knickers, or own his heart? Huh? Well, Blondie?"

"I. Well..." Andrew sputtered. "I want both!"

"Which is only natural for a virginal boy your age, let me assure you." Ginny told him pointedly.

"I'm not a virgin."

"You haven't met my brother Percy, have you?" Ginny asked, before continuing without an answer. "Percy gets twitching like that when we talk about sex around him. As a matter of fact, so does Harry. You'd think the Boy Who Lived would go out and get himself laid, but nope."

"Why don't you twitch?" Andrew asked innocently. Ginny forced down the snicker when she realized how that question could truly be taken. Twitch indeed.

"I don't know." Ginny shrugged. "I think it only works on guys. Or, you know, maybe I'm not a virgin."

"Yeah, right." Andrew snorted.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Ginny asked with a dangerous glare. Andrew's blue eyes widened dramatically, before darting around the room in search of an escape.

"Well, I mean... You're..."

"I'm what?" Ginny's voice sounded like some strange cross between steel and fire. Andrew gulped.

"Uhh... Nothing. Very intelligent and rather sexy for someone that is too young for me." Andrew said quickly.

"That and I'm the wrong gender." Ginny commented, sounding as though she had forgiven him. Andrew sighed in relief.

"Yeah, there is that." He nodded.

"Anyway. Tell Snape the truth." Ginny ordered, standing. "The man was a paranoid Death Eater for a few years, so you can expect him not to believe what is right in front of his face. Just sit him down and explain what you're feeling. Oh, and be sure to tell me everything. I want details."

"What if we end up doing something naughty?" Andrew asked, raising an eyebrow and trying to come off as cool.

"Like I said." Ginny grinned. "Details."

xxx

"Why haven't you gone after the wolf, yet?" Xander sputtered a moment, before sending a glare at the vampire sitting next to him. Spike looked completely innocent, as though such a thing were possible. Spike smiled (More like sneered, Xander observed.) at him, before turning his attention back to the Great Hall.

It had taken Spike about a day to get over his fear of the Great Hall's magical ceiling. Once he had realized the sun was not going to burn him up, he spent nearly every moment there. Now, after a week of living at Hogwarts, Spike was starting to stick his nose into other people's business. Xander had a funny feeling that was why Spike had originally hung out with the Scoobies to begin with, in order to have easy access to the grape vine. He really was a social vampire.

Xander chose not to answer Spike's question. It wasn't that he didn't want to come right out and tackle Remus to the ground. It was a nice prospect, but Remus was much too kind to embarrass that way. Even if his blush was the most adorable thing Xander had ever seen. Xander turned back to Albus, who had just sat down next to him. He had received permission to take Ginny and Spike to the nearest muggle town for slaying, now he was just working on getting Albus to agree on something else.

Xander was, of course, interrupted once again by Spike. "Hey, whelp."

"What?" Xander snapped.

"I thought the reds and the greens hated each other." Spike commented, gesturing towards the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables. Ginny's red head could be seen from the teacher's table. The girl was in the midst of arguing with some poor soul. At the Slytherin table, Draco Malfoy was looking overly smug about something.

"They do." Xander agreed. "Why?"

"That dragon boy... What's his name?"

"Draco."

"Right, Draco. Well, he came into the room about four minutes ago." Spike said. He pointed at a shy looking boy at the Gryffindor table that Xander identified as Neville. "That kid right there?"

"Neville."

"Yeah, right. Whatever. Anyway, he came in about a minute before Draco." Spike said, whispering like a teenage girl in high school.

"Yeah? So." Xander mumbled through a mouth full of roast beef.

"They smell-"

"You can smell them from here?" Xander interrupted, his eyes shocked.

"Yeah, I can smell them from here. Bloody hell. I normally wouldn't notice, but they smell the same." Spike hissed out of annoyance.

"How?"

"If you would bloody well shut up, I'd be able to continue and therefore answer your questions." Spike growled.

"Fine. Go on ahead."

"Git." Spike muttered before continuing. "They smell like sex."

"What?" Xander stared at Neville, then at Draco. "Yeah, right. Draco hates Neville."

"I don't care, all I know is they smell like each other and like sex." Spike nodded. "A lot of sex."

"So, you are implying that a shy kid from Gryffindor is having an affair with the Prince of Slytherin?" Xander asked.

"Exactly." Spike replied, before gulping down the cup of blood that had suddenly appeared before his plate. Xander didn't want to know how the house elves were dealing with getting blood for the new resident vampire. He also didn't want to know how they knew that Spike was sitting in that particular spot.

"Well, it makes sense." Xander suddenly commented. "Draco has been a lot nicer the past few days."

"Yeah. Finally getting laid can do that to a teenager." Spike nodded, licking his red lips. Spike grinned over at him. "So. When are you going to get the wolf?"

"I'm not going to get him." Xander insisted. "I don't get anyone. I'm going let Remus come to me."

"Yeah, and get blue balls in the process." Spike replied.

"Shut up." Xander glared. Though, Spike did have a slight point. This waiting was hard.

xxx

"Okay." Andrew stated. He took a deep breath, let it out, and then repeated the process. "Okay."

"Is there a particular reason you wished to speak with me?" Severus asked, his eyes narrowed. Andrew took a breath, let it out, and then repeated the process. "Andrew?"

"Okay."

"Mr. Wells!"

"Okay!" Andrew exclaimed. "I-I wanted to talk to you about... Well, us."

"Us." Severus repeated.

"Well, yeah." Andrew fidgeted, then began talking at a very fast speed. "Okay. This is how it goes. When I first met you I thought you were so cool. You were calm and collected and looked really sexy in that black robe combination. So, I kind of had a crush on you. I think you knew that, at least I thought you did. Ginny said that you were kind of clueless about stuff like that so maybe you didn't? Anyway, so then I came here and I kind of got to know you, at least I think I know you."

"I highly doubt you know me." Severus calmly replied, despite the look of shock on his face. He hadn't realized how much Andrew could actually talk.

"Well..." Andrew gave him a shaky smile before continuing. "I know that you like the color black, and not just because it makes you look dominating. I know that you like honey in your green tea. I know that you feel like you have to repent for all the stupid things you did when you were younger. I know you care about your students, though you will never let them realize it. I know that you like to read. I know that while you desire the DADA teaching position, you will always love potion making."

"I think you have made your point, Andrew." Severus told him, his voice oddly soft.

"Actually, I haven't." Andrew took a deep breath. "The things is, I keep learning all these things about you and all it does is make me want to learn more. You are... You're something. I can't describe it. I just want to be with you. I like you. And, well, I'm going to shut up now because I'm starting to babble and I don't babble very well."

"A-"

"You know what?" Andrew interrupted. "Why don't I just leave? I mean, I told you how I felt and I meant it. But, let me give you some time to think about it, okay? And... I need to go. I have lessons for Ginny I need to prepare."

With that said, Andrew quickly darted out of the room, shutting the office door on his way. The darkness of the dungeon engulfed him. Taking a deep breath, he quickly tried to compose himself. Pushing the thoughts of Severus completely out of his mind, he made for Ginny's training room. Upon entering the large room, he found Ginny once again raiding his demonology books.

"What are you doing?" Ginny just and spun around to stare at him sheepishly. There was a book dangling from her hand. Andrew held out his own hand, palm up, and waited patiently for Ginny to place her stolen book into his hand. He looked at the title, forced down a coughing fit, before turning a glare at the young Slayer.

"What?" Ginny asked, pure innocence. Andrew didn't believe in that look for a second.

"I would ask what you wanted Heinerfield's Reproductive Demon Encyclopedia for, but I don't think I want to know." Andrew replied, before bouncing around her and replacing the book to it's natural spot.

"Oh, was that what that was?" Ginny asked, attempting to sound shocked. Andrew shot her a look, before sighing and sitting down in the nearest chair. Ginny watched him a moment, before bounding over and sitting at his feet. Looking up at him, she gave him the sort of look that made him feel like she was looming over him, despite being on the floor. "Okay, what happened?"

"Nothing." Andrew muttered, crossing his arms in an obvious pout.

"Ah, so that's it." Ginny nodded. "Give Snape time. He has to process what you've said to him."

"I'm never going to live this day down." Andrew said mournfully.

"Don't be so dramatic." Ginny ordered. Sighing, Andrew obeyed.

xxx

"I am brilliant." Xander announced, entering Remus' office. The werewolf looked up from his paperwork, amusement dancing in his eyes as Xander grinned back at him.

"And what, do tell, caused this realization?" Remus asked, leaning back in his chair. Xander walked over and leaned against his desk at a very close range. At one time, this would of made Remus very uncomfortable, but for some reason it no longer did.

"I had a wonderful dessert with Albus this afternoon." Xander told him. "We talked about Ginny's progress and a bunch of other things that really did not make sense. Does that man always offer lemon drops? He should discover the wonders of other non-witchy candies. At the rate he's swallowing these things, it's no wonder he's as wrinkly as he is."

"Er, well." Remus really had nothing to say about that little tangent. Xander blinked at him a moment, looking rather baffled himself.

"Anyway!" Xander shook his head, erasing all thoughts of lemon drops. "So, I brought up that little thing that Ginny had been complaining about..."

"Merlin." Remus raised his eyes to the ceiling. "The dance thing, I presume?"

"Oh, you mean the one where Hogwarts hasn't had a dance since the Yule Ball?" Xander asked. "Yup, that would be the one."

"Let me guess." Remus replied. "Albus thought it was a fantastic idea."

"Well, gee, how did you know that?" Xander pouted. "He already told you, didn't he?"

"No, I just assumed that was the cause of your perky little mood." Remus smiled. "So, when will this hormonal episode happen, and will I have to help chaperone?"

"First of all, it's going to be a spring dance, which gives us adult-like people a few months to figure out how to properly arrange the decorations in order to lower the amount of hiding spaces." Xander told him. Remus raised a perfect eyebrow at this statement. "What? Didn't you ever drag your date into one of the nooks and/or crannies in order to participate in naughty touching?"

"Not that I could recall."

"Oh. You were one of those." Xander nodded. "That's okay, so was I. I just watched all the other dates sneak out of the gym to do that which is unspeakable."

"You had such a sad, traumatic childhood." Remus teased lightly.

"I did, didn't I?"

"God, will you two just stop and bloody well shag, all ready!" Spike's voice ordered from the hallway, where Spike was obviously listening. Both Xander and Remus blushed heavily.

xxx

"Where's Mini-Red?" Spike asked, his voice impatient. Xander looked at his watch, the bag at his feet (which carried a nice variety of weapons), and then down the hallway.

"I don't know. She should of been here twenty minutes ago." Xander replied. "God, was this what we put Giles through all the time?"

"Nah, you did worse to that poor bloke." Spike told him, tapping his foot. "So... Shagged the wolf yet?"

"You have spent the past two and a half weeks asking me that." Xander informed him. "We are off to slay demons and vampires in the big city of... Well, actually, I can't remember the city's name, but we just might die. So, let me tell you this, despite these harsh terms, I won't kiss and tell."

"There's been kissing?" Spike asked. He sounded excited at the prospect, which scared Xander even more than usual. Which, now that he thought about it, was probably the point.

"Just shut up, Spike." Xander ordered.

"Oh, come on!" Spike literally wined.

"Are you okay?" Xander asked, eyeing the vampire. Spike really was acting more perky and was, well, happier than usual. It was unnerving. "Do you need to lay down? Take a nap? Do you have a fever?"

"Aww, you really do care." Spike grinned.

"Okay!" Xander exclaimed, yelling at anyone who could hear. "Who drugged the resident vampire?"

"Oh, please." Spike scoffed. "After getting stoned at Woodstock and then trying to have sex with that Janis Joplin chick, I wouldn't touch the stuff. That was one scary woman, let me tell you."

"What?" Xander stared at him. "Spike, Janis Joplin wasn't at Woodstock."

"She wasn't?"

"No. She was just at the after party." Xander informed him, using the wonderful knowledge he had received from hours of watching VH1's Behind the Music.

"Huh." Spike looked slightly perturbed. "Who was that woman, then?"

"I really don't care." Xander replied.

"So..." Spike glanced around the hall. "Where's Mini-Red?"

"Sorry I'm late." Ginny said, having just came from around the corner. She was panting slightly, clutching a bag in her hands. "I was in the dungeons. Andrew was having another panic attack."

"What about this time?" Xander asked, handing his bag of weapons to the girl. She took them, giving him a small glare for making her carry everything. It wasn't like she was the only one with super strength around here. Though, by the look of serene pleasure that was flitting around Spike's face, she wasn't sure she wanted the vampire in charge of the pointy objects.

"Snape slammed the door in his face." Ginny replied as they exited Hogwarts and made their way across the grounds and toward Hogsmeade. "He hasn't talked to Andrew once since Andrew gave his little speech."

"Well, it's not everyday you get told by an annoying blonde that they are in love with you." Xander told her.

"True." Ginny nodded her agreement, before stepping closer to Xander. "What's with Tall and Stupid?"

"Heard that, pet." Spike said, shooting them a grin.

"Yeah, I don't know what his deal is." Xander replied, not trying to lower his voice at all. Spike shot him a glare, which wasn't at all up to his normal standards. "It's almost like he's... Umm, never-"

"Getting laid?" Ginny asked bluntly. "Yeah, I know." They both watched in amazement as Spike tripped over his own feet at those words, before sending them a look of annoyance. "Yeah, he's definitely getting some. Lucky vampire."

"Ginny!" Both men looked at her aghast. With a smirk, the redheaded Slayer bounded ahead of them, a chuckle echoing in the air.

xxx

The city of Dundee was bigger than Sunnydale, but smaller than London. Yet, despite the size difference, it's cemeteries had nothing on a nice Sunnydale cemetery. In fact, after nearly three hours of waiting, Xander finally allowed Spike to hunt down the demon part of town in order to get Ginny some proper training. Maybe they should of just scouted the Forbidden Forrest instead?

"Right, this place sucks." Spike announced some time later.

"You mean to tell me there are no vampires in this place?" Xander asked in shock. Ginny sat on the road-side curb near them, tossing a stake in the air.

"No, there are vampires..." Spike trailed off.

"And?"

"And I talked to a few..." With this, Spike looked rather disgusted.

"What did they say?" Xander asked, cursing his curiosity.

"Apparently there is a new trend in town with the local vamps." Spike sighed. "You know, back in my day a vampire was respected! We were cruel and dangerous!" Spike crossed his arms and glared at the direction he had just came from. "I think we should send Mini-Red after them, just on principle."

"Why?"

"It seems the locals have found that eating humans just aren't worth the trouble." Spike grounded out. "It's cruel and unusual punishment."

"You mean to tell me the vampires of Dundee, Scotland, don't drink human blood?" Xander asked in amazement.

"Not at all." Spike dropped down next to Ginny, looking for all the world like he was pouting, though Xander couldn't even begin to explain why. "When I asked, they looked at me like I was some bloody child molester. Then, I got the bloody lecture about it being Halloween and vampires are suppose to take the day off and all that rot. Then, they offered to take me to their farm and try out some fresh equine blood. Equine!"

"They have a farm?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah. They raise goats, pigs, cows, horses, and hamsters." Spike replied.

"Hamsters?" Ginny's eyes widened at the thought.

"Don't ask." Xander advised.

"Can we go?" Spike suddenly asked. "I have others things I could be doing than wasting my Halloween on you lot."

"Aww, don't you like us anymore?" Ginny asked, sticking out her lower lip. Spike rolled his eyes in reply. "Eh, you just want to get back to whoever it is you're shagging."

"I'm not bloody well shagging anyone." Spike denied, though the lie was evident on his face.

"Sure you're not." Ginny replied, standing. "Come on, Watcher of mine, let's just do a quick sweep then go back to Hogwarts."

"The girl with the plan." Xander grinned. They continued on through the next cemetery, until Ginny suddenly stopped and scratched at her arm. "What is it?"

"There is something..." Ginny trailed off, her eyes darting around.

The creature came out of nowhere, tackling Xander to the ground with it's bulky body. Xander squealed in a masculine way, batting at the demon as he tried to scramble out of the way. Ginny stared down at the demon and her Watcher, a look of pure shock on her face. Spike was leaning against the nearest tombstone, looking for all the world like he wished he had a bag of popcorn to finish the evening with.

"Xander!" Ginny hissed, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him to his feet. The demon lay on the ground for a moment, it's fat body rolling around in an attempt to get to it's feet. After a second it succeeded, glaring at them and standing in a familiar battle stance. Ginny turned to Xander, her eyes dancing. "That's a Glor'ton demon! I read about them in that one book you locked up on me."

"And?" Xander asked. "Kill it!"

"Huh? Oh, right!" Ginny scrambled for their bag of goodies, pulling out a large axe.

As she turned, gripping the axe in preparation for battle, a loud battle cry could be heard from the other side of the cemetery. Spike cursed behind them, and Xander and Ginny watched in amazement as a group of four vampires charged the demon. The fight was quick and bloody, and soon their demon was a dead pile of goo. The vampires clapped each other on the shoulders for a job well done, then turned to them with wide smiles. The leader, at least Xander thought he was a leader at first, stepped forward.

"Like, dude!" The vampire exclaimed, sounding like he had just spent the past two hours smoking weed and eating Cheetos. "It's the Slayer! How cool is this, guys! It's the Slayer!"

"My goodness." Another vampire said in awe, his voice soft and stereotypically British. "This is amazing. Utterly amazing. Do tell, young miss, how long have you been a Slayer?"

"Umm, around four months." Ginny replied. She looked at Xander, her eyes searching for an explanation on why these creatures weren't attacking them. Xander shrugged.

"It is a pleasure to meet you." The British vampire greeted, bowing slightly. Xander could hear Spike snorting behind them.

"Like, it's the blonde dude!" The stoned vampire exclaimed, pointing at Spike. "Like, man, did you get fed? We so could have given you some of that equine blood we were telling you about."

"No, that's okay." Spike replied, scowling.

"I do say!" The British man exclaimed, poking the gooey demon in the side with his foot. "How are we to dispose of this creature?"

"Oh, bloody hell." Spike muttered. "Where did this guy get turned?"

"Man, that's so nasty!" The other replied, before kneeling down and touching the goo with his finger. "Like, dudes! Check this out! It's like a jelly."

"It does have a strange composition." The British one commented. "Young Slayer, what do you believe it to be?"

"It's a Glor'ton." Ginny told him. "So, uhh, you guys don't eat humans?"

"My goodness, no!" The British man looked offended.

"Yeah, we are total vegetarians." The stoner explained.

"Umm, vegetarians don't eat anything from an animal." Xander pointed out.

"Oh, that's right." The stoner looked momentarily confused. "Well, then we're animaltarians!"

"That is not a word." The British vampire told him. The other two vampires nodded their heads in agreement. Xander glanced nervously at those two. They were twin girls and looked disturbingly like the two ghost girls on The Shining. Xander suspected at any moment they would be asking him to go play with them.

"Well, I think we should be going." Xander pointed out.

"Thanks for... Uhh... The slay." Ginny said, blinking in confusion. The Brit grinned in reply, reaching out to shake her hand. Ginny did so, before turning to stare with wide eyes at Xander when the vampire didn't try to ambush her at all.

"Man, it was so cool." The stoner pushed his long hair behind his ears and nodded. "That big thing was all 'no!' and we were all 'die!'. Righteous."

"Umm, yeah." Xander and Ginny waved goodbye, before following Spike out of the cemetery. They couldn't help but glance back every once in a while to see the group of vampires gather around the dead demon. At the last glance, the stoner was pulling out a small joint and lighting it.

xxx

"Well?" Andrew asked, jumping out of his seat as they entered the training room. "You're back early! How was it? Did Ginny kill anything?"

"Ummm..." Ginny trailed off, once again getting that look of confusion on her face.

"We met some vampires." Xander started.

"Oh! Did Ginny get them?" Andrew asked, bouncing around them to grab their bag of weapons.

"Not exactly." Xander shook his head.

"Bunch of bloody psychos." Spike muttered. "Should be ashamed to call themselves vampires."

"Yeah, they were... Eccentric." Xander concluded.

"That's all?" Andrew asked, disappointed.

"Uhh, Ginny will tell you about it in the morning."

"I will?" Ginny asked, before sighing. "Yeah, okay. I will. Hell, I'll tell you now. Want to sneak into the kitchens with me and raid the Halloween Feast leftovers?"

The two walked out of the room, leaving Spike and Xander standing there. Spike had a vaguely frustrated look on his face, like he had ran into a group of annoying vampires . Oh, well, hey. They had ran into a group of annoying vampires.

"I suppose I could go visit Remus." Xander commented.

"Full moon." Spike pointed out, glancing at the clock on the wall impatiently.

"Yeah, but he takes this potion so he's like a big Remus-Wolf." Xander said, grinning despite himself.

"You have fun. I got to go." Spike replied.

"Oh my god." Xander intercepted him. "You are getting laid!"

"I am-" Spike paused, before rolling his eyes. "What's it to ya?"

"Who is it?" Xander asked.

"Look, whelp." Spike growled. "I was in a good mood earlier, but not now. I need sex. You are interrupting me from getting sex."

"Oh, right." Xander nodded, before winking at Spike. Spike groaned in annoyance as he left the room. Xander stood there a moment, before walking out after him. He knew Spike could sense him following him, but the vampire didn't say anything. Xander followed him down into the dungeons and to the door to Spike's room. Finally, Spike turned and looked at him.

"May I help you?" Spike asked.

"I thought I would come inside and visit for a while." Xander replied, grinning. Spike's eyes narrowed. "No, really. And, you know, wouldn't mind meeting whoever it is that's got you all happy and giggly as of late." Spike growled under his breath. "Come on!"

"Fine." Spike snapped, jerking his door open and allowing Xander entrance.

"So, who are you hiding in... here..." Xander trailed off when he caught sight of the short person sitting on Spike's sofa. "Huh... That's unexpected."

"Hey." The person greeted. Xander turned to Spike.

"You're having sex with him?" Xander asked, shock written on his face. "Since when? And since when has he been back and in the picture? What's going on-"

"Oh, shut up." Spike growled, before sauntering over and sitting down on the sofa.

"Spike!" Xander exclaimed. "You're having sex with Oz!"

"What do you know." Oz commented, glancing at Spike with an expression that could be considered amusement. After a moment of staring, Xander finally rolled his eyes and sat down on the nearest available surface.

"Still controlling the wolf, huh?" Xander asked, trying to ignore Spike's hand wandering across Oz's thigh.

"Well, it is the full moon." Oz pointed out.

"Yeah, why aren't you off shagging your wolf?" Spike asked, his voice filled with accusation. Xander almost felt guilty for interrupting Spike's good time. Almost.

"So, where and when did you guys get together?" Xander asked, ignoring the pouting vampire.

"I was hanging out in L.A." Oz replied, and left it at that. Xander turned to Spike, hoping the vampire would stop looking at Oz's crotch long enough to answer.

"Bloody hell." Spike cursed. "I met him at a pub, we got drunk and spent a wild night clawing and screwing each other. Things sort of progressed from there."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Xander asked. Oz shrugged in replied, seemingly unaffected by Spike nibbling on his ear. "Right... I'm going to go visit my werewolf now. Uhh, and Oz? Feel free to visit us sometime. You don't have to hibernate in Spike's room."

"Totally." Was Oz's reply.

xxx

Xander was never an animal person. He had a goldfish once when he was little, but it died within the first week. When he had became possessed by the hyena, it only proved to strengthen the subtle desire to separate man from beast. That is, until he got to actually cuddle up with a full grown werewolf. Sure, werewolves weren't exactly animals per say, but they were beastly in nature.

When Xander had first entered Remus' rooms, he had been greeted with a growl. That, of course, wasn't something he was too worried about, because the moment the door was shut Remus had tackled him to the ground and licked his face. For an overgrown, slightly ill-proportioned dog, Remus had wonderful coordination. By the time Xander was able to stand up, he was covered in slobber and harmless scratches from their rough housing.

Panting slightly, Xander slumped down onto the couch. He raised his arm, giving Remus the room to crawl up next to him. The werewolf curled up against his side, resting his head on Xander's thigh. Smiling, Xander placed his hand on Remus' head, combing his finger's through the werewolf's soft fur.

"Well, looks like it's just you and me, fuzzy-butt." Xander told Remus. Remus gazed up at him with amber eyes. "My educational field trip went down the drain. Spike is having sex with another werewolf. You'll probably meet him tomorrow, if he's decided to leave Spike's room. Spike's lucky. Even if he doesn't realize it. As long as there are no skanky girl werewolves around, Spike will have Oz's full attention. Which actually works pretty well for Spike's ego."

Xander sighed. "Yeah, he's lucky. You know, Remus, I like you. And I don't just mean in the way that makes you my best friend, which I'm starting to think you are. It's like you're... Someone special and you're just for me, even if neither one of us realize it. I'm making absolutely no sense. Sorry." Xander yawned widely, his eyes trying to flutter closed. "I guess we should get some... Sleep..."

Remus had woken up next to someone after a full moon more often than some would think. As a teenager, he had the other Marauders to keep him company and as he got older there was Sirius. From the age of seventeen on up until he was about twenty-one, he hadn't gone a single full moon without Sirius by his side. After Sirius escaped Azkaban, it was the same. Then, Sirius had died and Remus was alone once again. So it was a shock when he awoke that morning with a warm body next to his own.

He could feel fingers carding through his hair. A voice was mumbling something in it's owner's sleep. He was perfectly content to go back to sleep, when the scent of wood and musk hit his nose. Blinking open his eyes, he found himself curled up naked on the couch, a fully dressed Xander as his pillow.

Remus didn't feel as shocked or uncomfortable as he probably should of. Feeling some unease at how content he was to cuddle up to Xander, he quickly went to his bedroom to dress. Taking a deep breath, Remus pulled on his robes and returned to the living room. Xander had curled up in a fetal position, still mumbling under his breath. It wasn't a loud sort of talking, more like a constant noise in the background that made you want to go back to sleep. Or hug someone. Remus didn't feel quite ready to do that, so he grabbed his briefcase and left for his classroom.

xxx

"What would a Potions Master want for Christmas?" Andrew asked the next morning.

"Ummm." Xander tilted his head in thought, chewing his piece of toast slowly. He turned to Remus. "I don't know. What do you think?"

"What Severus wants for Christmas?" Remus asked. "I have no desire to learn that."

"True." Xander looked past Remus. "What do you think, Spike?"

"Should I bloody care?" Spike snapped.

"Sheesh." Xander muttered. "Someone didn't get laid last night."

"For your information, I didn't." Spike growled. "Oz spent the rest of the night talking, if you can bloody well believe it."

"I wouldn't think that would stop you." Xander commented.

"Normally, it wouldn't." Spike replied. "But it's Oz. I was stunned. It's all your fault, you know."

"How is it my fault?" Xander asked.

"You guys!" Andrew whined. They ignored him, in favor of their argument.

"Memory lane, whelp." Spike said.

"Awww." Xander batted his eyelashes. "Did your little wolfie spend all night talking about another man? Poor little vampire, so miss treated!"

"Better bloody believe it." Spike muttered, before taking a gulp of his blood.

"Come on, you guys." Andrew interrupted. "I really need to come up with something to buy Severus for Christmas. I have no idea what he would need. Should I buy him potion materials? A book? What should I do?"

"Andrew, Christmas is nearly two months away." Xander told him. "You'll think of something. Hell, by then Severus might give into your seduction and tell you himself."

"You think?" Andrew perked up. His eyes developed a familiar glassy look as his mind wandered. Rolling his eyes, Xander turned back to Remus.

"Huh." A voice said, stopping their conversation before it could begin. Xander looked back and broke into a wide smile.

"Oz! It's Oz!" Xander bounced to his feet and threw an arm over Oz's shoulders. Oz had a vague look of amusement on his face, his eyes darting between the Great Hall's ceiling, Spike, and sometimes to Remus. "Decide to leave the horrors of Spike's dungeon room?"

"Thought it was time." Oz replied.

"I suppose we will need more room." Remus commented, pulling out his wand. The teacher's table stretched and another chair popped up between Remus and Spike. Oz sat down in it, looking down to find another plate appearing.

"Huh." Oz said again.

"Bloody nuisance." Spike complained. "Can't you shut up for two seconds?"

Oz merely smiled back at Spike.

xxx

"You will not believe it!" Ginny exclaimed as she threw the door to her training room open. She barely registered the four people watching her as she tossed her books onto the finally rebuilt table. "I can't believe it! I'm... I'm very shocked by this."

"Heavens, that must be some kind of news if you aren't blabbing it out to the nearest living thing." Xander teased. Ginny shot him a dirty look, before noticing the new guy. She looked Oz up and down, scratched at her arm, glanced at Spike, scratched again, and then sat down with a humph. "Problems, Slayer dearest?"

"Neville." Ginny spit out.

"That blonde kid you're always protecting?" Xander asked.

"Yeah." Ginny sighed. "He told me something this morning and I'm a little... Stressed from the news."

"What did he say?" Andrew asked, sitting down next to her and handing her a large demonology book with a ribbon marking a page. Ginny took it and opened it at the marked page before answering.

"He's dating the sleaziest ferret I have ever met." Ginny growled, eyes narrowed. The growl sounded oddly familiar, causing Xander to send Spike a disapproving look. The vampire preened like a proud father. "Stupid Draco Malfoy."

"You mean they are dating?" Xander asked in shock.

"You knew?" Ginny asked, glaring.

"Well, Spike"

"What? Spike!" Ginny exclaimed. Spike looked at his feet, then at the wall past Ginny's head.

"Well, they did smell like each other." Spike mumbled.

"What's the big deal?" Andrew asked.

"Malfoy is... He's just cruel." Ginny replied. "If he hurts Neville in any way, I swear..."

"You'll kick his arse." Spike finished. Ginny nodded firmly. Xander shook his head with a sigh and turned to Oz, who was silent as usual.

"Do you see what I have to deal with?" Xander asked.

"They are strangely alike." Oz commented. "Almost..."

"Like they are related?" Xander suggested. Oz nodded. "Yeah, I've thought of that. You should meet her mother. Scary woman. Love her to death, but she is scary when she wants to be. Speaking of which, it's time for me to write out my newest report to the dear Mrs. Weasley."

"Yes, and Ginny needs to study." Andrew said, giving them a stern glare.

"All right, shutting up now." Xander rolled his eyes.

"Andrew, this is boring." Ginny complained a few minutes later. "The pictures are hardly worth looking at."

"Just because it doesn't show the demon's... Hardware doesn't mean it's a bad book." Andrew told her, frowning.

"Whatever." Ginny mumbled. She was quiet a moment, taking every few second to glance at Oz and Spike. The 'new' couple was in the corner making out. After a few glances, Ginny sighed.

"What?" Andrew asked, looking up from inspecting Ginny's potion book.

"Do they have to do that?" Ginny whispered, gesturing at Spike, who was sticking his tongue into Oz's mouth.

"Well, they are... Oddly cute like that." Andrew said, frowning slightly. "What's the problem?"

"I don't know." Ginny said, her face falling into a pout that wasn't a normal expression for her. Ginny was either happy, angry, or sarcastic. The latter being the most common. To see her mildly depressed made Andrew scoot closer, throwing an arm over her shoulder. "Oh, stop."

"Why? You're obviously bothered by something." Andrew replied. "Is it Neville? Oh gosh, did you have a crush on him? Honey, I'm so-"

"A crush?" Ginny exclaimed. "On Neville! No way. Neville's like... A buddy. It's... Different than that. Maybe it's a crush, but not on anyone you really know."

"Hmmm..." Andrew looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, if you want to tell me, feel free."

"Yeah, I will." Ginny muttered, turning back to her book.

xxx

"Where's Ginny?" Andrew asked later on that week.

"Huh?" Xander yawned. He glanced at the clock, which read past midnight. With a sigh, he closed his Watcher's journal. "Ginny's in the Forbidden Forrest."

"What?" Andrew exclaimed. "But it's... Forbidden!"

"Yeah, I'm aware of that." Xander replied. "Albus gave her permission. She has to get patrolling in sooner or later. After that horrid experience in Dundee, well, I think the forest is her best bet. They have all sorts of things in there for her to battle it out with."

"I suppose..."

"Don't worry about her." Xander told him. "She's perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Besides, she seems a little down as of late. Beating the crap out of something will do her some good. At least, it always helped Buffy."

"Something is definitely going on with her." Andrew nodded. "She won't bug me about Severus anymore and every time she sees Spike and Oz together she sighs and gets this sad look on her face. I don't like Ginny sad. It's scary."

"You think she's having guy problems?" Xander asked. "I don't think I'm capable of dealing with that sort of thing."

"Maybe we should just watch her." Andrew nodded. "Yeah, watcher her. We're Watchers, it's what we do... Okay, it's what you do."

"You're saying we should spy on Ginny?" Xander asked, eyes wide. "Do you realize what she'll do to us when she finds out?"

"Beat us, then tear out our spleens?" Andrew suggested.

"Most likely." Xander agreed. "...Okay, let's do it."

Tracking Ginny down and following her on a day to day basis turned out to be easier than Xander thought. Perhaps it was because neither him nor Andrew set off the Slayer vibe. Thus, Xander and Andrew began following Ginny in-between classes. They watched her during lunch, and then after classes. Spike thought they had both gone insane, and insisted that when Ginny found out they were dead men. He simply asked that he would get to be present during the decapitation that would no doubt happen.

After two weeks of smooth detective work, they started seeing a trend in Ginny's behavior. Apparently, it all came down to one person. This person, however, was hard to decipher. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were always together. It was strange, and while Spike insisted naughtier things, Xander was vaguely reminded of Buffy, Willow, and him.

Xander knew Ginny wasn't getting all weepy about her brother, so Ron was out. That left Harry and Hermione. It was here that Xander and Andrew's investigative opinions started to differ. Xander insisted it was Harry that had Ginny all mopey and avoidant. Andrew claimed it to be Hermione. Spike said both, and Oz merely shrugged. When Xander finally got around to asking Remus, the werewolf announced that both were likely candidates for Ginny's affections and then left it at that.

By the time November came to an end, Xander was obsessed with Ginny's romantic life. Thankfully, Remus found this oddly endearing, so he didn't feel so guilty about ignoring his crush.


	3. part 3

Title: A Magical Kind of Comedy, Part 3

Author: frk-werewolf

Fandom: Buffy/Harry Potter Crossover

Pairings: Xander/Remus, Andrew/Severus, bits of other pairings (Spike/Oz, Ginny/unknown, Draco/Neville)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: A Slayer is activated at Hogwarts and Xander is sent to train her. Of course, Andrew comes along.

Setting: Post-"Chosen", Post-"OotP", Spoilers for Season 5 of Angel

* * *

Ginny wasn't stupid. Far from it in fact. She knew that Andrew and Xander were worried about her. The fact that they were nearly ignoring their romantic interests were enough to make her stand up and pay attention. Then there was Andrew, who liked to hum a strange tune while following her to potions class.

"Hey, Ginny?" Neville asked one November afternoon, glancing over her shoulder. "I know you have that Slayer thing, but... Is your Watcher suppose to follow you around like that?"

"He's just being an idiot. Ignore him." Ginny ordered. Neville raised an eyebrow, but remained quiet. The frown on Ginny's face grew in size. "It's not like they should be worried anyway! I mean, do I look like I'm dating the world at large and getting frisky with anyone? Bloody hell, don't they have lives?"

"I think they are just worried about you." Neville told her softly.

"Why?" Ginny said, her voice whiney.

"Well, you have been acting rather off as of late." Neville pointed out.

"It's nothing important." Ginny told him. "I just have a lot of things on my mind."

"You can't lie to me and you know it." Neville sighed. "But I'm not planning on pestering you about it. That's the last thing you would want. So, I propose you spend the rest of the afternoon with me and my plants."

"Why, Neville Longbottom!" Ginny exclaimed with a leer. She slipped her arm into Neville's and walked with him toward the greenhouses. "Are you flirting with me?"

"Hardly." Neville smiled, a blush spreading across his cheeks. "You do remember who I'm dating, right?"

"Draco Malfoy, king of the ferrets." Ginny said with a sour face.

"Sounds about right." Neville agreed.

"I don't understand why you like him." Ginny said, ignoring Xander behind them. Her Watcher was obviously trying to be smooth, darting behind bushes and the like. It didn't work out too well, so she opted to ignore him. They made it to the greenhouses, quickly entering the last building which housed a small section that Professor Sprout had given Neville.

"You know," Neville started, glancing at one of the open windows of the greenhouse. Xander's shadow could be seen through the glass. "I can honestly say that I don't know why I like Draco."

"I keep trying to get you to see Pomfrey about it, but no." Ginny sighed, plopping down on the ground. She leaned against the glass wall, looking up to watch Neville poke around the pots of his plants.

"I doubt it's medical." Neville replied. "Now, you on the other hand..."

"There is nothing wrong with me!" Ginny snapped. "Is there something wrong with you and all your... man liking?"

"My what?" Neville looked stunned.

"You know!" Ginny jumped to her feet. "First you had that crush on Lupin. Then it was my Watcher at the beginning of the year. Now Draco Malfoy? What is your problem?"

"Look, Ginny, if you have a problem... With me being gay..." Neville trailed off, his face twitching nervously.

"No." Ginny replied, her voice almost timid. "It's the fact that everyone took it in stride that bothers me."

"Ginny..." Neville wiped his soiled hands on his slacks before wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"This is stupid." Ginny mumbled.

"No, it's not." Neville whispered to her. He rested his head against her's, their height being nearly identical. "You know I would take it in stride, don't you?"

"You don't even know what I'm talking about." Ginny scoffed.

"Ginny, who has been my best friend since I took her out on that horrid date to the Yule Ball?" Neville asked. Ginny grumbled and pointed at herself. "Exactly. And who was it that laughed her arse off when I refused to kiss her because of what Ron would do to me? Yes, that was you as well. Who is that has defended me from Draco for the past two years?"

"Yeah, but it turns out that was Malfoy's form of foreplay." Ginny griped.

"The point is that no matter what, I'm here. Just like you are for me." Neville said. "Got it?"

"Yeah." Ginny sighed, giving Neville a small hug.

xxx

"I think I know." Xander said excitedly. Remus paused mid-drink, then slowly sat down his pumpkin juice.

"Pardon?"

"I know what's wrong with Ginny!" Xander exclaimed. Andrew's blonde head popped into view next to him, blue eyes wide with the desire to know. Xander could vaguely see Spike listening in, though the vampire was trying to look like he was bored.

"What? What is it? Is she okay?" Andrew asked rapidly.

"Oh, she's fine." Xander replied. "She's just having... Issues."

"Issues?" Remus questioned.

"Yeah... Issues." Xander said. "She's confused about something, but rest assured! She's okay!"

"Well?" Andrew asked, impatiently.

"Well, what?"

"Was it Harry or Hermione?"

"Oh, that." Xander looked over at the Gryffindor. Ginny was rolling her eyes at Neville, who kept staring at Draco. Every so often, Ginny's eyes would shoot over towards the Trio. "I'm thinking Hermione."

"I knew it." Andrew cackled. Xander gave him a strange look, before turning back to Remus.

"So, I was thinking-"

"Scary thing, that." Spike commented, before picking up a piece of sausage from Oz's plate and feeding it to the young werewolf. Xander stared.

"Umm, right, I was thinking," Xander started again. "We need to get Hermione and Ginny together."

"Are you sure that's wise?" Remus asked.

"Of course!" Xander said cheerfully.

"I must say, you worry me at times." Remus told him. Xander grinned in reply.

xxx

The look on Severus Snape's face shouldn't have been amusing. Perhaps it was the fact that Severus had been avoiding Andrew for nearly a month, thus leaving this moment a first true encounter in quite some time. It was all a part of a plan, of course. The plan was to make Severus sweat. To make him wonder what Andrew was up to, before his attacked. Oh, yes. Andrew was brilliant.

"Excuse me." Severus said in a slow and velvety voice. "Could you repeat that?"

"Hey potions master,

Thought maybe you and me could play twister.

Get a little naughty,

Because you're such a hottie.

Been missing you a bit too much.

So, hey! Let's go have lunch."

"I am going to ignore you. Please vacate the space between my door and your rooms." Severus told him, his voice dangerously low.

"You didn't like it, did you?" Andrew pouted.

"I was meant to?" Severus asked, rather shocked. Andrew's pout grew in size. A low sigh escaped Severus as he watched the strange American. "Blood hell, you are terribly annoying. Get in here."

Andrew let out a yelp as Severus' hand grabbed a hold of his arm and yanked him forcibly into the professor's rooms.

xxx

"You wanted to see me, Mr. Harris?" Hermione asked nervously. Xander sat on the edge of Remus' desk, the classroom empty save for the two of them.

"I was just curious as to how you were doing." Xander grinned. It only served to make Hermione more nervous. While she was an avid student, she wasn't used to her teachers holding her after class. Or Watcher's for that matter. "Oh, call me Xander."

"Certainly." Hermione replied. "I'm doing just fine. Though I received a nine out of ten on my last potion's paper, which was rather startling. I was certain I had that chapter practically memorized."

"Eh, it was probably Mr. Grumpy-Butt." Xander told her. "He has issues, in case you haven't noticed. In fact, expect one agitated teacher tomorrow. I heard Andrew went to pester him earlier."

"So..." Hermione shuffled on her feet. "Andrew likes Professor Snape?"

"Yeah. A bit too much, really." Xander paused. "You don't have a problem with homosexuality, do you?"

"No!" Hermione exclaimed, before blushing lightly. "I actually never really thought about it. Though, I've heard there have been medical studies showing that homosexuality is a genetic aspect. It would make sense, after all. Besides, who am I to judge? You have met the boys I hang out with, haven't you?"

"Wait... Are you saying Harry and Ron...?"

"Oh, no." Hermione chuckled. "I just meant that those two are like honey to a bee when it comes to abnormalities. They are a very strange duo, if you sit and listen to them long enough. Umm, Xander, is there any particular reason you're asking me this stuff?"

"Knew you'd ask that sooner or later." Xander smiled. "I just... Well, let's just say that I know someone who likes you and I was going to see what her chances were."

"Her...?" Hermione blinked, then blushed once again. "Well, I suppose it depends on who it is."

"Well, I'm not going to go as far as to telling you who it is, but I think you'd be pleasantly surprised if that reaction was anything to say about it." Xander told her. Hermione eyed him. "What?"

"You are a very bizarre person. Is this an American thing?"

"Why does everyone blame the crazy talk on being American?" Xander wondered, with a dramatic sigh.

"Probably because we have never heard someone speak the way you do until you and Andrew showed up." Hermione explained.

"Right." Xander shrugged. Hermione grew quiet a moment, before a glint appeared in her brown eyes.

"So, are you and Professor Lupin a couple yet?"

"Why does everyone ask that?" Xander asked in an exasperated tone.

"Because you set off waves of attraction when you are within the vicinity of each other." Hermione calmly told him.

"God, you and Ginny are perfect for each other." Xander muttered.

"What?" Hermione's jaw dropped open, her eyes wide.

"Oops."

xxx

Oz was a very observant person. The next morning, being December first, was no exception. He sat at the teacher's table, watching as the students gathered for breakfast. To most this would seem perfectly normal, but Oz wasn't most people.

First Xander bounced into the Great Hall, a sheepish grin permanently plastered to his face. Remus followed along behind him, gazing happily at Xander's bouncing form. Oz hid a smirk. The two settled down at the table, Xander grinning over at Oz. "I am so brilliant."

Oz didn't reply, instead he simply raised an eyebrow. Xander grinned wider and turned to the Gryffindor table. Oz couldn't help but follow his line of sight. Ginny sat next to Neville and some short kid with a camera. She had a devious look on her face, the blush on Neville's neck making it obvious that she was teasing him. This continued for a few minutes until a girl with brown, bushy hair and a stack of books comfortably placed in one arm walked up to her. Ginny gave a start and stared up at the girl as though she had two heads. After a few spoken words, Ginny stood and followed her out the Great Hall.

They passed Andrew and Severus on the way. Severus looked like he had been eating lemons all morning and was trying desperately to avoid looking at Andrew. Andrew simply bounced along side the scowling man, a goofy grin on his face. Oz watched them out of curiosity, ignoring Spike as he seemed to magically appear next to him.

"What's going on?" Spike asked, looking over Oz's orange dyed head.

"Something." Oz told him.

"Obviously." Spike snorted, then he raised his voice, calling past Remus and Xander. "Oi! Blondie! What's got you so happy?"

Much to Severus Snape's horror, Andrew grinned and called back in a voice loud enough to be heard across the room. "I had sex!"

xxx

"Well this just sucks." Xander pouted, kicking lightly at a random piece of exercise equipment in Ginny's training room.

"I thought it was rather nice." Remus commented. "Aside from all the students hearing about it, of course. Andrew deserves someone to make him happy."

"Yeah, and if his glowy face was any indication, Severus Snape makes him happy." Xander said, still in mid-pout.

"Never thought I'd see the day." Remus muttered.

"Everyone is having sex but us!" Xander blurted out, his voice loud and whiney. Remus stared at him, his golden eyes wide with shock. His mouth opened, closed, then opened again. This continued for some time, before Remus cleared his throat and sat down.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sorry." Xander grimaced. "I'm being immature. I realize that, but I can't help it. It always happens this way, you know? Everyone around me pairs off and gets all happy, while I'm left with no one. Or with someone that wants to kill me. Or insult me every second of every day. Or tell me that if I don't give her orgasms then she'll wish my penis away. Buffy got to be with Angel, then with Riley, and even a little with Spike. All three of them were bad for her, you know, but everyone was all supportive. Willow was with Oz, then Tara. Now Kennedy. She always gets the supportive, loving ones. Not me. Everyone either hates my lovers or they have to stop them from killing me."

"I'm sure you'll find someone who is meant for you." Remus told him softly. The werewolf didn't look at Xander, and thus missed Xander's loving gaze.

"What if I've already found 'em?" Xander asked. "What should I do, then?"

"I suppose honesty is the best idea, don't you think?" Remus suggested.

"Xander Harris!" A voice screeched from the doorway. Xander jumped and turned to find Ginny glaring at him, her face nearly as red as her hair. Ginny stomped into the room, slamming the door behind her. She whipped out her wand and pointed it at Xander with a shaky hand.

"Gin! What's wrong?" Xander asked.

"I can not believe you told Hermione about my liking her!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Oh, heh, did I do that?" Xander asked nervously.

"That's what she said, and the funny thing about Hermione is that she has this problem with lying." Ginny growled.

"Oh, well, er..." Xander trailed off, looking toward Remus for help. The werewolf glanced between the two and said nothing. "Sorry?"

"Sorry? That's all you have to say, is sorry?" Ginny asked.

"What do you expect me to say?" Xander replied. "I didn't mean to tell her. I was just pumping her for information, to see if you had a chance. I was going to tell you everything and then let you decide what to do."

"...You where?" Ginny asked, her wand lowering.

"Yeah." Xander admitted.

"Oh... Okay." Ginny sighed. "It was just embarrassing. Not to mention poor Hermione. I've never seen her blush and stammer before, until now that is."

"What did she say?" Xander asked, perking up now that his Slayer was no longer mad at him.

"Oh, nothing much." Ginny said evasively.

"Oh, come on!" Xander begged.

"You sound like Andrew when you do that." Ginny informed him, giggling.

"Just tell me." Xander ordered, his face threatening to form the puppy dog eyes. Ginny sighed.

"I'm going to Hogsmeade with her next week."

"All right!" Xander exclaimed, thrusting his fist into the air. "That's my girl! ...Wait. What's a Hogsmeade?"

"It's the local wizard town, dumbass." Ginny said with exasperation.

"Oh..." Xander grinned, turning to Remus. "I want to go to Hogsmeade. Be my date?"

"Well... I... That is to say..." Remus fumbled to answer.

"I'll take that as a yes." Xander said smugly.

xxx

"Today, class, you will be showing some practical skills." Remus told the class at large. Xander was lounged in his desk chair, leaving Remus and Spike to hover near him. "I'm sure most of you recall your dealings with the boggart third year. Today I will test how well you remember that lesson. Please follow me."

The class as a whole stood and followed the three out the door. They made their way down two flights of stairs before reaching an empty classroom. Inside was a large trunk that shook slightly as something within banged the insides. They gathered around, in a half-hazard line. Remus stepped up to the trunk.

"Now, there will be no helping. Each student must drive the boggart back into the trunk on their own." Remus explained. "Get into a line... Good. Now, Hermione, on three... One. Two. Three."

With a swish of his wand, Remus opened the trunk. Smoothly, the tall Professor McGonagal stepped out of the trunk. She narrowed her eyes at Hermione and began speaking in a stern voice. "You must be the worst student I have ever come across, Hermione Granger!"

The academic insults continued for a few minutes more, before Hermione gave an angry snarl and sent the boggart back into the trunk. With a satisfied smile, she went to the back of the line. The pattern continued for a few more students, until something else happened. The boggart exited the trunk on Seamus Finnigan's turn, but instead of advancing on the Irish boy, it turned to Spike. Spike's blue eyes widened as Buffy Summers gave him a cruel smile.

"What a bad, bad boy you've been Spike." Buffy said snidely. "You were suppose to love me, and look at you now."

"Shut up." Spike hissed, taking a step back.

"You finally figured it out, then?" The boggart sneered. "Finally realized that I could never love you? Never see you as more than a monster?"

"Bitch." Spike snapped. Buffy chuckled evilly. Spike took another step back, his body automatically sliding behind Xander's. Buffy immediately morphed into someone else. This person's figure seemed to shimmer, dancing between the look of a preacher, a drunken man resembling Xander, Xander himself, and a short girl with black hair, pure black eyes, and blue veins popping up on her skin. Finally the boggart seemed to make up it's mind and settled on the preacher.

"Well now." He said in a drawl. "If it isn't the one who sees everything. Come back for me to take care of the other eye, did you?"

The figure shimmered once more, settling on the older man with a drunken look. Xander winced visibly at his appearance. The man sneered. "You are pathetic. A poor excuse for a son."

Another shimmer, and Xander stared at himself. He was younger, still owning two eyes. The boggart smirked, it's face shifting to reveal that of a vampire's. Xander closed his eye in response, only to open them to see the last person.

"Hey, Willow." Xander said softly.

"Willow doesn't live here anymore." The girl said in a stiff voice, electricity crackling between her fingers. Suddenly Xander's vision was blocked as Remus stepped in front of him. Willow's figure shifted, turning into a glowing orb drifting between clouds. A full moon. Xander's mind, along with probably Spike's, shut down as Remus dealt with the boggart. Soon, they were the only three left the room as Remus had dismissed his class.

"Xander?" Remus asked softly, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine." Xander quickly said. "Just a little shocked."

"I gotta go." Spike announced, before darting out of the room.

"Will he be okay?" Remus questioned.

"He'll be fine. I'm sure he's running to Oz as we speak." Xander replied, before slumping into a chair. "I didn't realize I was afraid of so many things. When you told me what the boggart did I thought it would turn into a clown or something."

"You're afraid of clowns?"

"More like just one clown. It was a bad birthday experience." Xander whispered.

"Those people..." Remus took a deep breath. "I've only seen a boggart turn into more than one person before, but they were all related."

"Who?" Xander asked out of curiosity.

"Molly Weasley's greatest fear is the death of her children."

"I can see that. She's a wonderful mother." Xander told him. "As for me... Well, I grew up on a Hellmouth. You tend to be afraid of a lot of things that go bump into the night because of that."

"Like your father?" Remus' voice was soft, inquisitive, but mostly it was simply supportive.

"I could never be good enough for him." Xander sighed. "He and mom were usually too drunk to notice me, but when they did... Well, it wasn't pretty."

"I wish I could do something." Remus told him. Xander didn't reply. "...Who were the others? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"The preacher guy? That was Caleb." Xander pointed at his eye patch. "This was a gift of his. The other one was, well, me as a vampire. You fight them enough, and one of your greatest fears is being taken over by a demon like that. The last one was Willow when she went crazy on the dark magic. I saved the world, you know. Once. I talked Willow down from destroying everything. It wasn't much, all I did was tell her that I loved her and how she once broke a yellow crayon."

"You saved the world." Remus said slowly. "You do realize that makes you a hero."

"Hardly." Xander snorted. Remus simply stared at him with a strange look on his face.

xxx

"You are the most annoying creature I have ever met." Severus informed the blonde man standing next to him. Andrew sighed dramatically and handed him a ladle for the Wolfsbane Potion he was brewing. "We are not a couple."

"I know." Andrew snapped, his face going sour. "I'm just a toy, aren't I?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're using me as a toy!" Andrew wailed, before throwing the knife in his hand to the ground. He gave a huge sniff and made for the door. Severus let out a deep breath and grabbed Andrew's arm. "Let me go."

"You will cease this behavior at once." Severus ordered. Andrew glared back at him.

"Will I?" Andrew asked.

"I insist." Severus hissed.

"Oh, you insist, do you?" Andrew said, giving a small growl. It wasn't much of a growl, in fact it sounded like it came from a kitten. Severus tried to not smirk. Or snicker. Or laugh out loud. Goodness, this was a frustrating little man.

"Get out of my classroom." Severus hissed. Andrew stared at him a moment, sniffed, then yanked his arm free. Sending back a resentful look, Andrew ran from the room. Severus stood there a moment more, wondering why he felt so bad.

xxx

"I love this place!" Xander exclaimed, looking around Hogsmeade.

The small village was covered in Hogwarts students, along with a few teachers. Xander and Remus stood on the main road, taking in the sights. Oz and Spike had chosen to remain at Hogwarts. Spike because he would burn to ash, and Oz because Spike wasn't going. Andrew was still in the room he and Xander shared, moping. He had hardly left the room since what Xander assumed to be a lover's quarrel. Even Severus had been grumpier the past week, which was saying a lot.

"Did I mention I love this place?" Xander asked, before spotting Ginny and Hermione.

They were walking towards the Three Broomsticks, their arms brushing against one another. Both girls were blushing lightly, reminding Xander of how Tara and Willow used to act. Behind the two was Harry and Ron. Xander tried not to laugh. Taking in the looks on their faces, Xander knew the boys had no idea as to what was going on.

"Where would you like to go first?" Remus asked him.

"In there!" Xander answered, grabbing Remus' hand and dragging him toward the building Ginny had entered. The Three Broomsticks was bustling with students and a few adults. Xander quickly dragged Remus to a booth in the back, his head twisting around to find Ginny. The redhead could be seen on the other side of the room, Hermione sitting across from her. Harry and Ron, looking very put out, sat in another booth.

"I wouldn't worry about her." Remus said softly.

"Who? Ginny?" Xander shook his head. "Not worried. She can handle herself, and would probably beat me up for trying to say otherwise." Xander broke into a grin. "So, what's good to drink here?"

"I forget, you haven't tried butterbeer yet."

"Butter... Okay, what?"

Remus merely chuckled and stood. He returned a few minutes later with a mug of what Xander would later claim to be the best liquid ever created. After drinking down three mugs full of the stuff, Xander dragged Remus out of the Three Broomsticks and into the various shops of Hogsmeade, buying Christmas presents. They spent nearly two hours inside Honeydukes. Finally, as it was getting closer to nightfall and most of the students had returned to Hogwarts, Xander got to see the Shrieking Shack.

The building stood past the rickety fence, coated in snow. Xander tried to picture Remus stuck in this place as a kid during the full moon, but found the image too sad to think about. Shivering, Xander pulled his coat tightly around him.

"Cold?" Remus asked softly.

"Yeah." Xander said through chattering teeth. "I'm not used to this Great Britain winter."

"Here." Remus' arm wrapped itself around Xander's torso. Xander's shivering paused as he took in this new development. They were standing extremely close to each other now, Remus practically holding him, and his own arm was slowly drifting to wrap around the werewolf's waist. A small smile started to form on Xander's face. "What?"

"Hmm?" Xander smiled wider. Remus' own mouth formed a small frown of confusion.

"Is there something I should know?" Remus asked in the same soft voice. "You don't usually get that look unless you're plotting something."

"Maybe I am." Xander said, his smile immediately morphing into a grin.

"I do believe I've told you this more than once, but you scare me sometimes." Remus calmly told him. Xander chuckled and gently rested his head on Remus' shoulder. Remus' arm tightened around Xander in response.

"Hey, Remus?" Xander asked softly. Remus tilted his head, looking across the small amount of space at him. Xander didn't say anything more, but he could feel his face moving closer to Remus' without meaning to. He could only stare into Remus' gold eyes and inch his way toward that mouth.

"You boys are going to be late getting home." A taunting voice called out. Xander felt himself jerk back, Remus' arm falling away from him. Sighing, Xander turned to give Ginny a dark look. Ginny raised a single red eyebrow. "Interrupt something?"

"You know you did." Xander grumbled.

"Aww, I'm sorry." Ginny grinned wickedly. "Come along, children, time to go home."

"Shouldn't you be off doing inappropriate touching with a Miss Granger?" Xander asked as he and Remus started following her through Hogsmeade and back towards Hogwarts.

"Oh, that?" Ginny shrugged and stuffed her hands into her pockets. "We decided not to pursue anything."

"What? Why?"

"Hermione isn't really sure if she really likes girls that way." Ginny calmly told them, showing no sign of being upset at all. "She doesn't want to use me just to see if she is attracted to the same sex. Of course, you know Hermione, she used a lot more words than that."

"So, you're okay with that?" Xander asked shocked, sharing a look with Remus.

"Guys, unlike you two, I'm not looking for my one and only." Ginny snorted. "I've just turned sixteen for crying out loud. Hermione was a crush and there will be others."

"All girls, I presume?" Xander asked, his voice only mildly teasing. Ginny smirked.

"I grew up with too many brothers, if you must know. I blame them." Ginny sighed dramatically. "That's my excuse, what's yours?"

"Pardon?" Xander asked, baffled.

"For being gay."

"I'm not gay." Xander could feel Remus' amused eyes. "Honestly, I'm not. I'm bisexual. I nearly married a girl, for crying out loud. Stop looking at me like that, Mini-Red."

"Yes, right-o, Watcher." Ginny snickered.

xxx

"My goodness." Remus muttered.

"Holy Medusa." Xander said in awe. He turned to Spike and Oz, who were watching the events down the hall with avid interest. Ginny peered around him to get a better look. "How long has this been happening?"

"About an hour." Oz replied. "That Severus guy has good stamina."

"I've never seen Andrew scream like that." Xander commented.

"Batman looks like he's going to explode any minute now." Spike pointed out.

"They really are being harsh to one another." Remus said.

"You can hear them?" Ginny asked. Oz, Remus, and Spike all nodded. Yes, they could hear the screaming fight happening down the long castle hall. Andrew and Severus looked about ready to either attack one another, or shag each other stupid. Spike being, well, Spikewas voting for the latter. He hadn't seen a good piece of adult entertainment in a while.

"What started it?" Xander asked.

"Severus was striding down the hall, looking all important and stuffy-like, when Andrew darted out of Mini-Red's training room and crashed into him. Words were said, then screams were said. I think they are about to move to sex, so shut your gob." Spike replied.

"Huh, who knew Spike was right." Oz said with vague interest as Andrew and Severus suddenly lunged at each other. Their mouths attacked one another almost as violently as their words had.

"Cover your eyes, Ginny." Xander ordered, his own eyes unblinking. Ginny could be heard snorting. Xander simply knew she wasn't covering her eyes as the duo down the hall began groping one another.

xxx

Much to Spike's amusement, Xander and Andrew were unable to recreate the evening of the Hogsmeade visit. Severus once again distanced himself from Andrew in an all familiar pattern. Andrew moped and was even sent into a cursing fit once when it was mentioned that he needed to get on with his life from Ginny. The lecture he received after that by the young Slayer was to go down into history.

Xander, on the other hand, was actually trying to get alone with Remus. It wasn't working out too well. Either Remus was teaching or preparing a class. When they did see each other, everyone else was also present. Xander couldn't really say too much, of course. He was very busy increasing Ginny's training and keeping Spike from causing trouble.

And for a moment, Xander realized that Remus had already finished his segment on vampires, thus leaving Spike no reason to be here. Yet, the vampire continued to stay. Xander wasn't going to complain. For the first time since a fraction of a second when he and Spike were roommates, he was actually enjoying the vampire's company. And having Oz around was simply a bonus, despite the constant nagging in his head on how, exactly, those two worked out as a couple.

Finally, Christmas break had arrived. Xander had talked Spike into going with him to the dark house of Black with him. Oz, naturally, was to come along. They all packed their bags and got onto the train at Hogsmeade. The trip seemed shorter than it did on the way to Hogwarts. Finally, they reached King's Cross just as the night fell.

"Oh, hello, dears!" Molly Weasley exclaimed, pulling Andrew into a huge hug. She proceeded with everyone else, even Spike, and just like before Andrew snuck into a second hug. "Well, come along, then."

xxx

"EVIL CREATURES! UNCLEAN SPAWN, CREATING DIRT INSIDE MY HOME!" The portrait of a rather horrid looking Mrs. Black screeched at them. Xander was suddenly given a reason for why they should be quiet at the front door, but sadly no one had told Spike that. "UNDEAD THINGS CRAWLING ACROSS MY FLOOR! MUDBLOODS!"

Xander and the others watched in shock as Remus and Molly ran over to pull the curtain covering the portrait closed. Finally, after a moment of fighting, silence reigned once more. The group quickly made its way into the kitchen, where Spike stood with a look of awe on his face. "Bloody hell."

"Language!" Molly automatically exclaimed. Spike, despite the desire to hiss at her, nearly blushed and nodded at the motherly woman. Xander snickered behind him.

"Welcome to our world, Spike." Xander teased. "Where no matter where you go, Molly Weasley's motherly ways will be shouting down your neck."

"I beg your pardon?" Molly asked, her hands on her hips. Ron and Ginny were giggling behind her.

"Nothing!" Xander exclaimed, a look of panic crossing his face. Molly gave him a stern look, before turning to start dinner. Andrew bounced over to help, the duo's whispered words and chuckles starting up immediately. Xander let out a sigh and followed Remus to the library. Perhaps now, he would get some alone time with the werewolf.

"Oi, whelp!" Spike called to him as he reached for the library door.

"What, Spike?" Xander asked through gritted teeth.

"What's got into your knickers?" Spike asked, eyebrow raised.

"Nothing, I was just trying to have some alone time with Remus." Xander said with a pointed stare.

"Oh, right." Spike gave him a wink that looked far too lecherous for Xander's own good. Spike reached out and snagged Oz's hand, who had been calmly standing nearby. "Just wanted to know where our room was."

"Oh, well, I suppose... You could take the master bedroom." Xander replied, holding back a snicker. "It's just down the hall."

"Right, see you later." Spike pulled Oz down the hall and into the bedroom. Xander waited, hand poised on the doorknob. A slow grin appeared on his face as he heard it. "Shit! What the bloody hell it that?"

Buckbeak's agitated squawk was heard seconds later.

"So, Mr. Lupin, what are you up to in this dark and shady room?" Xander asked in a teasing voice as he entered the library. Remus stood in front of one of the bookshelves, sending an amused look over his shoulder. "Reading some... books?"

"Blast." Remus smiled. "It appears my great plot has been discovered."

"Yeah, I'm clever like that." Xander replied.

"Did you need something?"

"Well, actually, I-"

"There you guys are!" Ginny exclaimed, bouncing into the room. Xander held back a groan of annoyance. How was it Ginny always managed to interrupt Remus and him before they could do anything interesting?

"Ginny!" Xander gritted through clenched teeth. "Ruin any conversations lately?"

"What's got into your knickers?" Ginny asked calmly.

"Okay, you need to stop hanging out with Spike." Xander ordered. Ginny rolled her eyes. "I'm serious. I think it's doing something to your psyche."

"Don't be so dramatic." Ginny told him, before falling into the nearest chair. A soft sigh escaped her. "So, I've been thinking."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

"Oh, shut up." Ginny growled. Xander's eyes traveled skyward and he muttered something about giving Spike a lecture on teaching Ginny his growl. "Anyway, Harry, Hermione, and Ron are probably going to spend the next two weeks with each other... And, you know, that's kind of kinky if you think about it. You don't think that's why me and Hermione wouldn't work out, do you?"

"Ginny." Xander interrupted. "Do you have a point?"

"Yeah, I'm bored!" Ginny said, her voice a literal whine. Xander cringed. "I need something to do. Someone to hang out with."

"Why don't you go hang out with Andrew?" Xander suggested, desperate to be alone with his werewolf once more. "I'm sure he needs a friend to spend Christmas with."

"No offense, Xander, but this is Andrew we are talking about." Ginny calmly replied. "Half the time I don't know what he's talking about. Something about a war of stars? I don't know. If not that, then it's all about Snape. A person can only take so much of him talking about the sexy curve of Snape's buttocks. Or the hardening of his-"

"Ginny!" Xander exclaimed.

"Of his jaw when he's angry." Ginny finished. She gave him a purely innocent look, which had Remus chuckling in the corner. "What did you think I was going to say?"

"Nothing." Xander replied, eyes narrowed. Ginny looked to be fighting a grin.

"Still. Bored here." Ginny said, with an expectant look on her face.

"I suppose we could go patrolling nearby." Xander offered.

"Oh! Yay!" Ginny bounced her feet. "More psycho, druggie vamps!"

"I can assure you that not all vampires are like those freaks." Xander insisted.

"Yeah, I figured." Ginny shrugged. "But, this is better than the Forbidden Forrest. All I can slay in there are those freak lizard demons that I found hibernating in the caves."

"You really should have read up on those before you charged into their home, flaming wand at the ready." Xander pointed out.

"How was I to know they ate fire?"

xxx

"That woman is insane." Spike told Xander the next morning with a look of confusion. It was almost as though he had never met someone like Molly Weasley. True, she was even more imposing than Joyce Summers had been, but Xander was a little worried that Spike was so flustered by the woman.

"Don't let her hear you say that." Xander offered.

"Shit." Spike muttered, his eyes darting around frantically.

"Whoa, okay." Xander patted Spike on the arm. "What did she do to you?"

"Nothing." Spike replied, defensively.

"No, seriously."

"It's nothing." Spike pouted.

"Oh my God." Was all Xander could say. The look on Spike's face was a bit much. A sense of a sad little boy who had been scolded mixed in with an ashamed adult who was just caught in the throes of passion by his mother. Not that Xander knew what that expression was like, because he'd of course never worn it. Right.

"Don't look at me like that, whelp." Spike ordered. "Now, what's this I hear about a little patrol in merry ol' London?"

"Ginny's bored."

"Well, we can't have that." Spike replied, finally breaking into a smirk-like grin. "Bored Slayer turns into things like... Naughty touching and the like."

"Should I tell Molly about your language?"

"You wouldn't dare!" Spike exclaimed.

"Try me." Xander smirked at the look of pure horror flickered across Spike's face. "Zeus above, she really did catch you and Oz going at it."

"How did you know?" Spike asked before he could stop himself. With a sigh, he continued. "Yeah, well, she was trying to feed that Buckbeak creature and caught us. I've never seen a woman scold someone like that. Hell, my mum was a sweet little woman. Joyce was the kind to give you looks that made you feel bad. This woman? She yells and screeches like a bloody Ver'lucktu demon in heat."

"I can't believe you were going to have sex in front of Buckbeak." Xander replied. "That's even kinkier than I thought you were."

"And you blame me for the way Ginny thinks?" Spike asked in shock.

xxx

"Now, Ginny, this is-"

"It's a fresh grave. I'm new at this, sure, but not clueless." Ginny raised an eyebrow. She walked over to another gravestone and sat on top of it, facing the newly dug grave.

"Well, sorry. I'll leave you to it then, shall I?" Xander asked, before walking away. He stopped about five feet away and hovered nervously, watching his Slayer toss her stake into the air and catch it each time.

"What's got into your pants, whelp?" Spike asked, literally appearing next to him from out of nowhere.

"I'm nervous." Xander admitted. "My Slayer is in an actual graveyard, refusing my annoying and yet constant desire to help. Thus, I'm stuck over here, hoping she doesn't get herself killed."

"You act like she's never fought before." Spike said, pulling out a cigarette. Xander stared at the little stick of tobacco in confusion. When was the last time Spike had actually smoked? Xander couldn't remember.

"Yeah, but, well..." Xander shrugged. "I don't know what my problem is. I just... I guess it finally hit me that I'm the one who is responsible for making sure she's ready for the world. That she's prepared to fight and stand strong. That's a disturbingly large amount of pressure."

"Oh, please." Spike snorted. "Ginny is one fiery little bird, Harris. She's not the type to get stuck in a bad situation. You could be the worse Watcher in the world and she would survive. She's got that kind of passion, you know. Reminds me of myself."

"Sure it does." Xander rolled his eyes. They turned back and watched as Ginny leapt off her tombstone and at the rising vampire. Moving swiftly and at a speed Xander hadn't seen on anyone but Buffy, Ginny dusted the creature in seconds flat. A slow smile spread across Xander's face. "Yeah, she's something."

"Git." Was Spike's reply. Xander didn't want to know what he did to be called a git. Most likely, Spike was just filling his quota for the day. Living in the vicinity of Molly Weasley was proving to be a horrid time for Spike, since he could no longer curse to his heart's content.

"So, where's your shadow?" Xander asked as they followed Ginny at a fair distance as she began her actual patrol.

"Debating the use of string cheese with that Herm-chick." Spike replied.

"String cheese?"

"Well, either that or the inner workings of Freud. I can't be too sure." Spike said.

"Ah, the horrid affair of dating someone with a brain. Different than dating Harmony, isn't it?" Xander said, nodding.

"Oh, please." Spike snorted. "Like you would know."

"I'll have you know, I dated a Cordelia and then made out with a Willow. Two totally different classes of intellect." Xander replied.

"Please. Cordy was wicked." Spike told him.

"My point is that I know what it's like to date someone who is smarter than you." Xander said, ignoring Spike's scowl. "Well, okay, thinks they are smarter than you in Cordelia's case."

"I don't know where you get the idea you were smarter than her." Spike replied. "But that doesn't really matter. I bet she gave great he-"

"Why do I even bother to attempt normal conversation with you?" Xander interrupted. Xander shook his head in dismay and turned back to watching Ginny dust vampires with amazing skill.

xxx

"But, Mum!" Ginny protested loudly. Xander entered the kitchen to find Ginny standing before her mother, hand clenched tightly around a piece of parchment. Harry and Ron were watching with avid interest. Hermione was reading, but peaking over the top of the book every once in a while. Andrew looked like he was the one getting yelled at if the twitching was any indication. Everyone else was no where to be seen.

Xander suspected they had left the moment Ginny opened her mouth. Wimps.

"You are not going into London alone." Molly insisted.

"I won't be alone." Ginny said in a low voice that normally had people running for the hills. It didn't seem to effect Molly any. Then again, Molly had probably invented the voice. "Neville will be there."

"Yes, and who will he be with?" Molly asked, pointing at the letter. "Not his grandmother, but Draco Malfoy. I'm not about to let my baby girl-"

"Mum!"

"Go out into the city of London for two days with a group of boys!" Molly finished.

"Mum, listen to me." Ginny said, trying to keep her voice calm. "Neville and Malfoy are a couple! They're gay! Nothing will happen. Besides, I'm a Slayer. I can kick anyone's arse that tries to mess with us. Please?"

"You will not go alone. Especially without an adult." Molly protested. Ginny sniffled and Xander watched in amazement as Molly almost melted at the sound. Huh, so that's how it works.

"It's not fair, you know." Ginny whimpered. "Ron gets all of his friends here. Neville's my best friend, Mum, and I don't get to see him at all."

"Well..." Molly sighed. Ron, in the background, looked rather put out that his mother was agreeing so quickly. "Fine! You can go, but Ron, Harry, and Hermione are going with you."

"Bloody hell." Ginny cursed, before covering her mouth.

"If I hear anymore words like that, then you won't be going at all." Molly said sternly. "Also... Xander will go with you."

"Ah, man!" Ginny whined loudly. "He'll make me go slay something!"

"It's called a job, Ginny." Molly told her. "Get used to it."

"Yeah, okay." Ginny mumbled, before turning on Ron and Harry. "If you two try to do anything to Draco Malfoy, and therefore upset Neville, I will make you curse the day you were born." Ginny whipped around to Xander. "That goes for you as well."

"Mental. Totally mental." Ron said, watching as Ginny stomped out of the room.

xxx

The trip to London happened three days later, leaving the adventure to end on Christmas Eve. The Trio were excited to be given a break from cleaning things. They packed clothes and were ready first thing that morning. Ginny spent the last three days patrolling, honing her skill with such an exact science that Xander was a little scared by it. She was up at dawn, making sure she had everything. Xander waited until the last minute to pack, which wasn't that unusual for him.

The taxi met them two blocks away, a fact that confused Xander to no end. However, that Mad-Eye Moody fellow had his own method for doing things. After situating the teenagers into the back seat, Xander climbed into the front with the driver.

"You poor man." The driver offered as they soared through the streets of London. Xander clutched the door handle with a white knuckled hand.

"Yeah, well, they'll behave themselves if they know what's good for them." Xander gulped as they took a sharp turn.

"Mate, if you can keep track of all four of those kids, you deserve a metal for single parenting." The driver told him as the pulled to a stop in front of an expensive looking hotel.

"Single parenting?" Xander squeaked. The driver sent him a grin before gathering their luggage. Shaking his head, Xander stepped onto the sidewalk and stared up at the building with the others.

"That Malfoy, always showing off." Ginny sneered.

"I shouldn't expect any better from such cretins, should I?" A snide voice asked. Draco stood by the door, his arms crossed. Xander had to admit he looked different without those imposing robes. He still wore black, but the turtleneck and jeans made him look more approachable.

"Shove off, Malfoy." Ron growled.

"I happen to be paying for this little venture, Weasley." Draco informed them. "You'd do well to remember that. However, I don't recall inviting the lot of you."

"Neville agreed." Ginny informed him, her voice cold.

"Fine." Draco relented with a sigh. Ron and Harry shared a look of shock when they saw Draco wasn't going to argue over the matter.

They followed Draco into the hotel, where he proceeded to get the keys to their rooms. "I must insist that you four be on your best behavior. I do not wish to attract attention to myself, nor my companion."

"Stop acting all superior, Malfoy." Harry told him as they entered their floor.

"Potter, you and your little Weasel can have this room. Granger and the other Weasel will get the room next to ours." Draco eyed Xander with obvious distaste. "The muggle will get his own room."

"Oh, thank you." Xander snatched the key out of Draco's hand, ignoring Draco's startled look. Xander threw his bag into the room and turned back to the others. "Don't get into trouble. If you're going anywhere, tell me."

"Well, that was interesting." Ginny commented as Xander slammed the door shut.

"Gin!" Neville bounced out of one of the room and enveloped her into a hug. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Yes, well, I had to make sure Malfoy wasn't going to kill you." Ginny replied.

"Only with pleasure." Was Draco's response. Neville turned bright red as Draco's hand slide down his back. Ginny rolled her eyes.


	4. part 4

Notes: "These... or these?" is taken from Jeff Foxworthy's Totally Committed routine.

* * *

Xander looked around the large occult store with a sense of boredom. He was located in the center of the room, in a small area with sofas and chairs, so he could spot each member of his party easily. Harry and Ron were playing with a Quiji board display. Hermione had her nose buried in an enormous book on Norse Mythology. Ginny was browsing the small demonology section, a fact that had Xander a little worried. Draco was in the Dark Magic section, though little sighs of agitation kept coming from him as he replaced book after book to the shelf. Neville was in the herbology section, where a small table sat. The boy had about five books opened, bouncing between each with interest. Every once in a while, he would look up at Draco with a little smile on his face.

"Are you sure we can't just buy her a gift card for a magic shop?" A voice asked as a jingle indicated someone had just entered the shop. Xander paused at the sound of the voice.

"You know Willow, she thinks it's better if it's personal." Another voice replied. Xander slowly turned around.

"Buffy? Dawn?" He asked. There was a loud squeal that caused all of his charges to look over. Xander let out a loud 'oof' as Dawn practically tackled him into the nearest sofa. Buffy stood in front of them, arms crossed with a small smile tugging at her lips. Xander pushed Dawn away, laughing and re-adjusting his eye patch. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We just got back from Rome." Buffy told him. "We decided to stop by here for emergency Christmas shopping before we went on to Blackpool."

"Why are you here?" Dawn asked, bouncing in her seat. Xander took a moment to notice she had already grown a couple more inches since the last time he had seen her. "I thought you were in some magic school with the latest in Slayer training."

"Yeah, how's that going for you, by the way? Giles said you told him she was good, but then he got all British on me. Never know what the man is saying when he starts polishing his glasses." Buffy grinned.

"I'm good?" Ginny piped up, walking over to them. She slapped Xander on the shoulder. "How come you never told me I was good?"

"Because you hit me." Xander pouted, rubbing at his shoulder. Soon, teenagers were surrounding them as the others came over. "Guys, this is Buffy and Dawn. Scoobies, this is Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Harry, Neville, and Draco."

"Geeze, when I started a trend of Slayers having friends, I really started a trend." Buffy commented.

"You're the Slayer!" Ginny gasped. "I had a feeling, but I wasn't certain. Wow, the Slayer."

"Yeah, you too." Buffy grinned.

"Great, more muggles." Draco snorted.

"Problem?" Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not at all. Now, if you'll excuse me." Draco turned to Neville. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"Yeah, just a minute." Neville mumbled, struggling to pick up all his books. He made to put them back on the shelves, but Draco intercepted him.

"Oh, for Salazar's sake." Draco rolled his eyes. "Give those to me." He snatched the books from Neville, stacking them neatly, before carrying them over to the counter.

"Draco, you really don't have to-"

"Honestly, Longbottom, you act as though I never do anything nice for you." Draco interrupted. He handed the now purchased bag of books to the flustering Gryffindor. "Now, I expect a very nice Christmas gift for this."

"Are they a couple?" Dawn asked as the duo waited by the door for them. "They look coupley."

"Much to my displeasure, yes." Ginny scowled.

"Is the world going gay?" Buffy suddenly asked. Dawn, who had finally stood up, adverted her eyes.

"Excuse me?" Xander asked.

"Oh, nothing. It's just every time I turn around people are getting with the same sex loving." Buffy said. "I'm starting to feel left out. Not that I like girls, I'm just saying is all... And I'm going to shut up now."

"Thank you." Dawn whispered. Xander raised an eyebrow in her direction. She merely rolled her eyes in typical Dawn fashion.

"Hey, I know." Xander said, standing. "Buffy can come patrolling with us tonight, Ginny."

"I knew you were going to make me patrol." Ginny shook her head as though disappointed in him, then turned to Buffy with a smile. "But I'd like that."

xxx

"You need to watch your right side a bit more." Buffy said before staking a rather nasty vampire. Ginny let out a grunt of agreement, before grabbing her own vampire and pulling him into a roll. Buffy stood back to watch as Ginny came out of the roll and swiftly turned into a round house kick. "Don't let him get too close."

"Not-" Ginny grunted. "-Planning on it."

A fist hit Ginny square in the jaw, but the redhead quickly recovered. After a few more punches and a kick, a stake was thrusted cleanly into the vampire's chest. As dust caught into the wind, Ginny bounced over to Buffy.

"You did good." Buffy told her. "Better than some beginners do. Better than I did, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Buffy shared a smile with her. "You react well under attack."

"Oh, well, I've been in fights long before I became a Slayer." Ginny told her. "What with my brother's best friend being the enemy to a sadistic madman. You learn to protect yourself during a war."

"It's sad, but rather true." Buffy agreed, before pausing. "I suppose I should give you some advice. Pretty much: Don't die. That's a big rule and dying isn't much fun anyway. Also, don't let some stupid prophecy make you think you'll lose. Most of those Slayer prophecies were written a long time ago, before Slayer's had friends to help them fight."

"I'll keep that in mind." Ginny replied.

"So?" Xander asked as they approached. He dug merrily into his bag of potatoes chips, then continued with a full mouth. "How'd she do?"

"Grade A." Buffy replied.

"We should get back to the hotel." Ginny advised, pocketing her stake. "Ron and Malfoy are probably trying to kill each other."

xxx

"I'm going to kill you!" Ron screeched, before tackling Draco to the ground. Ginny, Buffy, and Xander watched with avid interest as the duo rolled across the floor. Punches were thrown and growls sent into the air. Finally, Neville heaved a great sigh and yanked Draco off of Ron.

"Stop." Neville said, giving Draco a look.

"Fine. I have better things to do with my time, anyway." Draco sniffed delicately.

"God, I hate him." Ron mumbled as Harry helped him to his feet and Draco and Neville disappeared behind their door.

"Ah, teen angst. Remember the days?" Xander asked Buffy.

"Yeah. It's not nearly as bloody as I remember it, though." Buffy commented, before joining Dawn and Hermione on the love seat in the sitting room connecting Draco and Ginny's room. Ginny bounced over and sat at their feet.

"Yeah, but didn't you date a vampire?" Ginny asked.

"Huh, she's got a point." Buffy said with a shrug.

"You dated a vampire?" Hermione asked. "Like Spike?"

"Spike?" Buffy asked, shooting a look at Xander. "What do you know about Spike?"

"Well he's-"

"Dead!" Xander yelped.

"No, he's not. Well, he is, but-" Hermione suddenly cringed. "Oh... You're not suppose to know that."

"But..." Buffy trailed off, her eyes focusing on Xander's nervous form. "He's alive? How? Why didn't you tell me?"

"He didn't want you to know." Xander admitted. Buffy easily hid the hurt look that tried to cross her face. "I should have told you, but... Honestly, do you really need to know? You're happy without him around."

"I'm-" Buffy stopped and sighed. "Yeah, I am. He complicated things. Just... Let me know how he's doing sometime, okay?"

"Will do, Buffster." Xander smiled.

"Did you really have sex with him?" Ginny asked bluntly. Hermione's face turned bright red, while Dawn coughed into her hand. "Spike never would say, but you could tell... Was he good?"

"Okay! Time for those of us with the Y chromosome to vacate the area." Xander said, gesturing for Harry and Ron to follow him out the door.

"What's a chromosome?" Ron asked once they had reached the safety of the hallway.

"Uh... Ask Hermione." Xander replied.

"Yeah, right." Ron snorted.

xxx

They returned home late the next day, after spending a nice evening eating out and shopping with Buffy and Dawn. Xander was a little worried at first, his Sunnydale friends meeting his Hogwarts companions, but everyone got along. Even Draco seemed to like Buffy, which was rather surprising. Ginny and Dawn got along a little too much for Xander's taste, each of them using their wit to send every man in the vicinity into a dark blush. Excluding Draco, however. It seemed nothing made that boy flustered.

Well, except Neville, who appeared to not have a clue about his effect on the Slytherin.

A semi-tearful goodbye later, with promises to write and small teases about someone with amber eyes (leading Xander to the conclusion he needed to talk to Ginny about keeping her mouth closed), they returned to the Black house. Andrew was the first to spot them as he stirred something in a large bowl, oven mitts attached to his hands.

"Oh my gosh, you're back!" He exclaimed. "So? How was it? Do anything... Naughty?"

"They better haven't." Molly said sternly, eyeing each teenager, then giving Xander a stern look just on principle.

"They were good, except a bit of fighting on Ron and Draco's part." Xander replied. Ron let out a squeak.

"Ronald Weasley." Molly stated, her hands on her hips.

"But it wasn't bad." Xander continued. "We met Buffy and Dawn there."

"Wow, really?" Andrew asked. "How are they?"

"Good. They're going to Blackpool for Christmas. Buffy's still living the single life and Dawn's gotten taller." Xander told him.

"Taller? Impossible." Andrew whined. "She wasn't suppose to get taller than me."

"Well, you take that one up with her." Xander grinned. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a werewolf to hunt."

xxx

"Why am I not shocked?" Xander asked as he stepped into the library. Remus looked up from his book in surprise, before smiling. Xander went over and sat in the chair next to him with a sigh. "I leave you alone for two days and you've buried yourself into literature. I am ashamed, man, simply ashamed."

"I'm sorry to disappoint." Remus said, his voice filled with amusement.

"Yes, well, don't do it again." Xander said sternly. After a moment of silence, Xander began picking at the arm of his chair. "Umm... Well, I missed you."

"You-? Oh..." Xander looked up to see Remus smiling behind his book.

"Well?"

"Well, what?" Remus asked.

"Did you miss me?"

"Maybe." Was Remus calm reply, though his smile turned into a grin.

"Good... So... I was wondering if you wanted to, uh... Well..." Xander sputtered to a stop. What was he really asking here, anyway? A part of him didn't have a clue. The other part of him kept whispering about that almost-kiss near the Shrieking Shack. Xander frowned down at that part of him, but his crotch had nothing else to say on the matter.

"Yes?" Remus asked, finally closing his book and looking at Xander.

"Well, I..." Xander trailed off. Standing, he crossed and un-crossed his arms. Opening his mouth, he tried very hard to stop the words that emerged, but proved to be unsuccessful. "I was wondering.. Remember the Hogsmeade visit? Well, I've been trying to get alone with you for a while now and here we are... Alone! So... Can I kiss you?"

"I see." Remus replied, taking a deep breath. He looked up at Xander, his gold eyes looking rather large in the lighting. "I've been thinking about that, actually, and... Xander, I'm sorry, but I really think I'm too old for you."

"What?" Xander's jaw dropped. Remus slowly stood, clutching his book in his hands. "You are not!"

"Xander, honestly, I believe this is for the best." Remus said, before quickly turning on his heel and walking out of the library. Xander stared after him, feeling rather lost. Then, slowly, a look of determination spread across it.

xxx

"So, let me get this straight, he claimed that he was too old?" Andrew asked.

"That's mad, that is." Spike commented. "Bloody hell, I'm over a hundred years Oz's senior and we fit well together."

"The man has a point. In more ways than one." Oz said.

"Too much information." Xander told him, before letting out a sigh. He dug into the large bag at their feet and tossed a dead rat towards Buckbeak. Spike watched with interest as the animal tore it to pieces before swallowing. "Maybe he doesn't like me?"

"I'm sure he does." Andrew insisted. "Severus acts like he hates me, but you get me into a bedroom with him alone and, well, it's a little scary."

"Or in a hallway." Oz half-smiled.

"Oh... Well, yeah." Andrew blushed. "Just you wait, though. When I get back to Hogwarts, he'll be following me around like a puppy begging for it."

"We believe you." Xander said.

"You know what?" Spike asked, turning back to the conversation. "The man is bloody insane, is what he is."

"Severus?"

"No, Remus." Spike snapped. "He's obviously attracted to you. The pheromones start erupting into the air just at the mention of your name. It's really annoying."

"Gives you a reason to drag Oz off, though." Andrew pointed out.

"True." Spike relented.

"You just need to not give up, Xander." Andrew told him. "He likes you. I can't smell arousal, but even I can tell. Be persistent."

"Like you did with Severus?" Xander asked, innocently.

"It got him to notice me, didn't it?" Andrew said.

"Did at that." Spike snorted. "You have that man so wound up, I'm waiting for the killing sprees to begin."

"He is rather uptight." Oz commented.

"Yeah." Andrew sighed dreamily. The others rolled their eyes.

"What are you four doing in here?" Ginny asked, opening the door to the master bedroom. "Should I worry?"

"We're plotting a way to get you a girlfriend." Xander told her, tossing one last rat at Buckbeak.

"Oh, don't worry about that, Watcher of mine." Ginny grinned. "I've already spotted someone new."

"Who? You've been locked up in this place for a week." Andrew said.

"Dawn." Ginny said.

"You and the niblet?" Spike asked, having already heard the story about Buffy and Dawn meeting their group. He wasn't too happy about Buffy finding out about his being undead and in the area, but quickly got over it. Spike turned to Xander. "That's a scary thought, mate."

"I know, those two together?" Xander shuddered. "They are a danger to society."

"Hey!" Ginny protested.

xxx

It wasn't the first time Xander had found himself overhearing a conversation between Remus and some random person. And as the last time, it seemed to happen inside the Black family library. However, while the last time it had included Albus Dumbledore, this one was with Molly Weasley.

"Remus, I really don't mean to pry." Molly insisted.

"I'm sorry, Molly, but it's none of your business." Remus told her, his voice indicating they were finished.

"Listen to me," Molly stated. Xander could recognize the order in her voice. He found himself involuntarily straightening up and paying attention to her next words. "That man adores you and if you haven't figured that out, Remus Lupin, then it's your loss."

"Molly-"

"No. I don't want to hear your excuses." Molly interrupted. "You care about him, I can see it in your eyes. ...I know you miss Sirius, but you can't let his death stop you from caring about someone else."

"He's more than ten years my junior, Molly." Remus whispered.

"So?" Molly sighed. "He's not young enough to be your son, Remus. He's old enough to know what and who he wants. He's been through so much at his age, making him far more mature than some. He's fought vampires, a goddess, and even a witch infused with pure dark magic. Do you really believe a child could handle all of that?"

"That's not the point." Remus said.

"Then what is?" Molly asked. "What's the point in making him feel like you don't care?"

"I care. You know I do!" Remus exclaimed. "I can't not care, Molly. Just... Can't you leave it be?"

"No, I can't." Molly replied. "Andrew asked me to speak with you, so that's what I'm doing. And he's right to be concerned. You can't keep holding people at arm's distance, Remus. You deserve love, and Xander deserves to be allowed to love you."

"Can't we talk about this later?" Remus practically begged.

"I give up!" Molly let out an exasperated sigh. "Remus, just... Please, don't make him miserable? It's Christmas tomorrow, and I expect to see smiling faces. Do you understand me?"

"Yes ma'am." Remus replied, though his voice held no amusement despite his words.

"I want you to be happy." Molly stated, before walking towards the door. Xander quickly hid in the shadows, watching as Molly walked past with a troubled look on her face.

xxx

Xander couldn't help but feel nervous the next morning. He had, after all, been raised on a Hellmouth. It was the holidays, a time when people would attempt to be jubilant. Things were bound to go badly. Yet, nothing did go as terrible as he assumed it would. Everyone woke up around seven, except Molly, Arthur, and Remus, who had been up since five. All the teenagers, and Andrew, gathered their presents and placed them in the sitting room in front of the large fireplace. Xander and Oz followed at a slower pace, while Spike had yet to go to bed.

The vampire pulled Oz onto his lap and rested his head against the werewolf's shoulder, eyes half-closed. Xander fell down onto the sofa next to Remus, ignoring the fact that Remus scooted away from him. Soon, everyone was huddled together and opening gifts. Xander barely noticed what the other received, except that Andrew had given Ginny one of the books they had previously kept her from reading. Ginny's bright red face grinned lecherously, despite her embarrassment. From Xander, she had received a set of stakes, each carved to fit her grip perfectly.

Andrew got a bunch of small items, along with something from Remus that caused him to grin stupidly and hide in the corner staring at it. Spike received a weapon or two. Oz got a couple of books, since no one knew what the young man liked besides Spike. Remus was, of course, given books. Xander received, along with pretty much everyone in the room, a Weasley jumper in pale blue and a sword from Spike, Oz, and Andrew. From Ginny, he was handed a small vial with dust inside.

"What's this?" He asked, shaking it slightly.

"It's the first vampire I dusted. I found some of it on my jacket after patrol, so... I figured you could keep it." Ginny shrugged.

"Thanks." Xander grinned. Ginny rolled her eyes and went back to inspecting her stakes. Xander looked at the vial for a moment, before his eyes finally dragged over to Remus. The werewolf was already reading through one of his books, almost ignoring Xander's presence next to him. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Xander quickly gathered his things and left.

"Xander!" Xander paused on the hallway. He was so close to the staircase and therefore the kitchens. So close to sitting alone with the cakes Molly had in the cabinet.

"What?" Xander asked, turning slightly.

"Here." Remus said simply, handing over a small box wrapped in gold paper. Xander stared at it as though it were a dangerous animal. "Please, take it?"

"I thought you didn't want me near you." Xander said softly, reaching out and taking the box, being careful not to touch Remus' slender fingers.

"I didn't mean it like that, Xander." Remus replied. Xander's hold on the box tightened slightly. "I... Probably should get back... I wanted you to have that, though."

"Sure. Whatever." Xander nodded, then let out a brief, frustrated growl. "Remus, wait."

"Yes?"

"It's on my bed." Xander told him. "Your present, I mean. If you want it, that is."

"Thank you." Remus said softly, before turning away.

Xander didn't bother to watch him leave. He quickly made his way to the kitchens and found anything containing chocolate. Once he had enough of the precious food in his mouth, he turned to the package sitting on the table. Finally giving into temptation, he ripped the gold wrapping off to reveal a palm sized black box. Taking a deep, steady breath, he opened it. Inside, nestled in what looked to be a bed of velvet, was a gold chain with a tiny pendant attached. While small and delicate, the necklace looked thoroughly masculine. The pendant was a penny-sized ball, colored like the moon.

Lifting it up, Xander held it close to his face. As he shifted it around in he light, he was amazed to the moon's shadows alter. After a full twist, the shadows formed the shape of a wolf, which leapt into the air. Upon it's landed, it tilted it's head up and howled. Listening carefully, the small echo of a wolf's cry reached his ears.

"Wow." Xander whispered, sitting back in his chair. He paused a moment, before slipped the necklace around his neck and hiding it under his shirt. Shaking his head, he muttered to himself. "If he doesn't like me, then what kind of game is he playing?"

xxx

"Why is Remus avoiding you again?" Andrew asked two days later. Xander frowned at him, his hand immediately going to touch the pendant through his shirt.

"Why are you perving over Remus' present?" Xander countered.

"Oh, Xander." Andrew sighed his dreamy sigh. He clutched the gift, a small piece of paper from the looks of it, against his chest. "Remus has given me the gift of wizard eternity."

"Really?" Xander raised an eyebrow. "Let me see."

"Umm, no." Andrew shook his head.

"Come on!" Xander insisted, reaching for the item. Andrew dodged away, but Xander was prepared for the move. After a moment of fighting, Xander stood up, victorious. With a smirk, he looked down at the paper. It turned out to be a photo. One of those wizard photos Xander had slowly adapted to. Severus Snape, though much younger than he is now, looked up at him with a scowl. "Great Zeus, where did Remus get this?"

"Well, he went to school with Severus, you know. He had it duplicated from his yearbook from seventh year." Andrew replied. He gently retrieved the picture and smiled down at it. "Was he the cutest thing?"

"Well..." Xander tilted his head as he looked. While Severus hadn't been the most attractive person, much like now, he did have this sense of sarcasm and rebellion about him that made a person want to watch the photograph. "I suppose... In that... 'I'm better than everyone else' kind of way."

"Yes, well, at least my man will look at me." Andrew stated.

"Andrew, that's a picture." Xander told him. Andrew proceeded to ignore him, in favor of staring at Severus Snape's face, who was content in glaring at Andrew in return. "Yeah, okay. Just... Don't start sleeping with it, all right?"

"I have no idea as to what you mean." Andrew stated, before walking away.

"I really worry about the day we get back to Hogwarts." Ginny commented as Andrew passed her while vacating the room. "Snape is going to have quite the madman on his hands."

"Forget Batman, imagine what we'll have to go through when he decides he doesn't want to be with Andrew anymore... Again." Xander replied.

"So, what's this I hear about Remus avoiding you?" Ginny asked.

"Why can't people just let that go?" Xander threw his hands up into the air. "It's not going to happen, you know. Remus doesn't want me, so there is nothing for it."

"And yet he's going out of his way to make sure he doesn't see you." Ginny told him, raising a red eyebrow.

"Well, I am devastatingly handsome. He can't help but want me when faced with my glorious presence." Xander said sarcastically.

"Stop." Ginny ordered. "Just, stop it. He likes you. You like him. You play with his Christmas gift to you all the time. He keeps hiding himself in his room with yours. Don't you think the fates are trying to say something?"

"He liked it?" Xander asked, momentarily perking up.

"It was a book. Of course he did." Ginny rolled her eyes, before smiling. "But it was better than most books. He's already spent hours telling me and Hermione about how rare it is."

"Well, it's a Watcher's Council lost secret." Xander admitted.

"You stole it."

"No, I didn't!" Xander frowned. "Well... I didn't... Giles did, though. That book is one of the few books left from the original Watcher's Council."

"Fascinating as that may be, why don't you go tell him that." Ginny offered.

"No, I couldn't."

"Argh! You two are so frustrating!" Ginny growled, before stomping off.

xxx

"Oi! Toss me a steak!" Spike called down the long table.

"Spike!" Molly reprimanded. Spike frowned and looked down at his empty plate. It was their last night at the Black home, thus being their last huge meal. Molly watched Spike a moment, before sighing. Carefully, she dropped a steak onto his plate that was practically still dripping with blood. "Here, I made this especially for you."

"Thanks." Spike leered. Molly looked away, a slight blush forming on her cheeks.

"So, Xander, what do you have planned for my Ginny this term?" Arthur asked.

"Well, I was thinking of weekend patrols in the Forbidden Forrest." Xander said thoughtfully. "Perhaps the Hogsmeade area on occasion. Oh, and patrolling the night of the Spring Dance of course."

"What?" Ginny screeched.

"Wait, what dance?" Ron asked.

"Oh, cripes." Xander turned to Remus, who was sitting as far away as possible. "Albus hasn't announced it yet, has he?"

"No, I believe he was waiting for after the Christmas Holidays." Remus replied.

"It's because of me, you know." Ginny said smugly. "My powers of persuasion made Xander talk to the Headmaster."

"I highly doubt that." Ron scoffed. "Dumbledore was probably planning it all along."

"He's got a point, Slayer." Spike pointed out through a mouth filled with food. "That wizard is one sneaky bast- ...man."

"Whatever." Was Ginny's reply.

"Well, I suppose we'll need to get dress robes." Molly said slowly. Ron groaned loudly and the sound of his head hitting the table echoed through the room.

"Don't worry about that, Molly." Xander grinned. "We'll make it a... casual dress kind of thing."

xxx

Returning to Hogwarts after Christmas break was a lot like returning home after a stressful family vacation. It was nice to have an excuse not to see Ginny and the Trio everyday. Not that Xander didn't like them, but the Trio were... An odd group of people, that was for certain.

Things seemed to slowly morph back into their old schedule. Remus taught. Xander watch as Ginny destroyed his table for the twentieth time that school year. Andrew followed Severus around. Severus ignored him. Spike and Oz made out in corners, while students passed. They ignored Professor McGonagal's protests and Albus' amused smiles, of course.

One evening in February, after spending two hours with the so-called 'dance committee' that Albus had volunteered him for, Xander found himself at the doors to Remus' office. He didn't want to enter, but felt suddenly obligated to fix this rift that had been created between them. He was still standing there, staring at the door, thirty minutes later when Andrew happened to walk past.

"You're driving me insane." Andrew informed him. "Just get in there and talk to the idiot!"

"Don't call him that." Xander glared.

"Just do it." Andrew ordered, opening the door and shoving Xander inside. Xander winced as the door slammed behind him, causing Remus to look up from the papers he was grading.

"Xander." Remus said softly, looking rather tense. Xander took a deep breath and walked over to the desk.

"Look, I'm just going to say this as quickly as I can, in hopes I won't embarrass myself." Xander told him. "I like you. I really, really like you. And, sure, I'd love to be in one of those cuddly relationships where we kiss and do naughty things. I would adore that, as a matter of fact. But, apparently, you don't want that. That's okay. I don't mind. Well, I do mind, but it's kind of like chocolate. I love chocolate and would give anything to have chocolate, but sometimes you just can't. And if someone was to take chocolate away from me, then I'd at least want to go the rest of my life smelling it. That way, while I might not be able to taste it, I can still have some part of... Chocolate."

"Are you implying I'm like... Chocolate?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Umm... Well, you're... Smooth and yummy like... Huh, I'm really screwing this up, aren't I?" Xander replied.

xxx

"I am amazed. Simply amazed." Severus stated in his cold tone. Andrew sighed dreamily and pushed his way into Severus' chamber. "How is it you manage to interrupt me every time I start to enjoy the quiet?"

"It's a gift." Andrew grinned as he bounced over to one of the large leather chairs. Severus fought down a groan of agitation. "So... Watcha doing?"

"What are you doing?" Severus corrected.

"That's what I said." Andrew frowned.

"Very well." Severus said through gritted teeth. "I am reading. Something I prefer to do alone, as it were."

"Cool." Andrew smiled, not taking the barely subtle hint. Severus narrowed his dark eyes and strode over to Andrew. Andrew stared up at him, taking in the offensive stance and obvious attempt in seeming dangerous. "Very impressive. You might want to add a little growl. You know so it's more-"

"Get out." Severus ordered.

"No." Andrew said stubbornly.

xxx

"Mini-Red's off hunting. The whelp is trying to get into Remus' pants. Andrew is stalking Batman." Spike leered over at Oz. "Just you and me, pet."

Oz merely smiled as Spike launched at him. After a long kissing session, Spike pulled back. "Why do I get the feeling something interesting is happening elsewhere?"

"Maybe there is." Oz shrugged.

"Huh... Oh well." Spike leered once more and began unzipping Oz's pants.

xxx

"Look, Remus." Xander said. "I just want to be your friend. If I can't be your... You know, then I want to remain friends."

"Xander, what makes you think we aren't?" Remus asked.

"I'm not stupid, okay? I may be young, but I know what's going on around me." Xander replied, looking agitated. "You have been avoiding me. Don't deny it, Remus."

Remus didn't respond. Instead, he stared down at the essay he was grading. The red ink had dripped from his quill, creating a large spot that looked like blood. After a moment, it seemed as though Xander can't take the silence. He quickly walked around the desk and kneeled next to Remus' chair.

"Listen to me." Xander ordered and Remus found himself complying. "I like you. I will always like you. Hell, I just may love you. I've followed you around for months trying to get your attention, so I'm not about to let you go so easily."

"Xan-" Remus started.

But he was caught off by Xander grabbing a hold of his head and pulling him forward. Warm lips attacked his own. A gentle tongue slipped into his parted mouth. Remus was certain this wasn't happening. The power, the strength behind the kiss was overwhelming and he couldn't do anything but submit to it. Remus allowed himself to be pulled into the kiss, to respond just as desperately as Xander. And when Xander began to pull away, Remus felt that it was too soon.

Refusing to let Xander speak, Remus slipped a hand behind Xander's head and pulled the younger man back to him. This time he took the control, devouring that sweet mouth. Taking in all he could. A part of him felt like he could do this forever.

xxx

"I don't see why you have to be so stubborn." Andrew stated, giving Severus a pouting glare.

"I don't see why you must annoy me as you do." Severus retorted.

"You like me." Andrew told him with confidence. "Admit it."

"..." Severus slowly walked past him and sat down in a nearby chair. "I will admit to no such thing. You're a bit like a fly, you know. Always buzzing and interrupting me."

"And you are a great bat, but you don't see me telling you." Andrew replied, before frowning. "Oh... Heh, just did."

"I've told you many times, I do not like you. We are not dating." Severus said coldly. "What we had was just a moment of insanity on my part. As for you? Well, you are simply insane in general. Do you understand me?"

"I'm not stupid." Andrew glared. "I know exactly what you are getting at. Sorry for thinking there was more to you than what you put out. Sorry for trying... Bastard."

Severus watched in shock as Andrew stood, back rod-stiff. The young blonde wiped at his eyes and turned for the door. Andrew ignored Severus' stare and quickly left Severus' chambers. He wandered the dungeons, not really in the mood to talk to anyone. It was as he walked past Spike's room that an idea struck him. A slow, naughty smile graced his lips and he began banging on Spike's door.

"Bloody hell, what is it?" The door was thrown open to reveal Spike, nude except for a thin sheet wrapped around his waist.

"Hey, Spike." Andrew greeted.

"Oh, it's you." Spike glared. "What do you want?"

"I have a plan. I need your help." Andrew said, bouncing from foot to foot. Spike stared at him a moment, before letting out a loud sigh.

"Right. Stay here." Spike shut the door on Andrew. Andrew rubbed his hands together and cackled, before leaning against the dungeon wall and waiting for Spike to come out.

xxx

"You, Mr. Lupin, are a jerk." Xander stated when they finally separated long enough to speak. "You made me feel horrible, you know."

"I..." Remus looked away, before slowly standing from his chair. "I still think I'm too old for you."

"Yeah, okay." Xander rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Remus. You keep believing that. As long as I'm getting Remus-Kisses then I'm fine with it."

"Really?" Remus asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yup!" Xander grinned. He literally bounced over and took hold of Remus' hand. "Now, let's go to dinner, shall we?"

The goofy grin remained plastered on Xander's face all the way to the Great Hall. Remus couldn't help but smile. A part of him still wondered if a relationship with this young man would be wise, but the rest of him suddenly didn't care. He could still remember the morning he woke up after the full moon, with Xander curled up next to him. It was a wonderful feeling, and, if Remus was honest with himself, he hoped there would be more mornings like that.

"So, one month until that stupid ball." Xander was saying as they walked toward the teacher's table. "What say me and you go and hide in the corner, making out? I figure we can scare off all the hormonal teens who want to use the space for wrong doing. And... Wow, Andrew... What are you doing?"

"I'm feeding Spike. What does it look like?" Andrew replied from his perch on Spike's lap. The blonde man was practically draped over the vampire, with one hand slipped under his shirt and the other holding a cup of blood. Spike had a lecherous expression on his face. Oz sat next to them, his back stiff and wearing a forced kind of smile.

"Okay, why?" Xander asked as he and Remus sat down. Spike made a small gesture toward Xander's other side.

When Xander turned to look, he really didn't know whether to laugh or groan in frustration. Severus was sitting at the end of the table looking like a large black lump that had eaten too many lemons. He was staring down at Andrew and Spike with narrowed eyes. Xander shook his head and turned back to Andrew.

"You really shouldn't tease him like that." Xander informed him.

"Why not?" Andrew pouted. "He started it."

"Really?" Xander shared a look with Remus. "And just what did he do?"

"He told me he didn't like me." Andrew replied in a pitiful voice. He let out a small sigh, before returning to feeding Spike.

"Oz? What do you have to say about this?" Xander asked, leaning to look over at him.

"What about it?" Oz asked.

"Do you approve of Andrew crawling all over your boyfriend?"

"Should I?" Oz returned.

"I wouldn't be." Xander frowned. "If someone was crawling all over Remus I'd-"

"Oh, did you two finally shag?" Spike asked in the disturbingly perky voice that Xander had slowly become accustomed to hearing. There was a small noise to Xander's right. It took him a moment to realize it was Remus growling softly. "Hello? Whelp?

"Huh?" Xander asked, his eyes glazed over.

"Oi, Wolf! Stop turning the whelp on. I'm trying to embarrass him, here." Spike insisted.

"Shut up, Spike." Xander grumbled. "And for your information, we haven't shagged. Not yet anyway."

"Oh-Ho!" Spike grinned wickedly. "Hey, if you're in need of some lube-"

"Spike!" Xander protested.

"Then you'll have to get your own." Spike finished. "Me and Oz are running low."

"Oh, he won't have to worry about that." Andrew chirped. And really, now that Xander thought about it, Andrew was the only person aside from Willow that could get away with chirping.

"Why's that?" Spike asked, before taking a gulp of blood.

"Because wizard's use a spell." Andrew replied. "It's really need. You press the tip of the wand-"

"Okay, I really don't want to know about Batman and you having a happy, okay?" Xander interrupted, before turning to Remus and lowering his voice. "Do you know that spell?"

"Yes." Remus replied, looking away with an almost bashful expression. Xander wasn't fooled, he could see the true look in his eyes.

"Good." Xander stated before digging into his plate.

"Would you like some more?" Andrew giggled loudly. Xander watched as an almost evil expression crossed Andrew's face when Severus suddenly stood up with a clatter of silverware and stormed out of the room.

xxx

"Will you two stop that?" Ginny demanded. Xander pulled away from Remus, their lips separating with what sounded like a pop. His Slayer stood over him, her foot tapping. "I have something I need to discuss with you."

"What's up?" Xander asked. Ginny took a deep breath and pulled out her wand. "You're not going to hex me, are you?"

"No." Ginny frowned slightly, before shaking her head. "Okay. Tell me which one you like. This one?" With a wave of her wand, her clothes changed into a deep green dress, with a light green outer robe. She waved her wand again and her outfit morphed into delicate looking golden-yellow dress with red accents and a red robe. "Or this?"

"I'm rather fond of this one. But I'm a Gryffindor, so..." Remus shrugged.

"I like this one." Xander agreed. "It makes you look like a bright, bursting sun! And kind of sparkly."

"There's no glitter." Ginny said. "How can I be sparkly?"

"I dunno... I just like that word." Xander admitted. Ginny glared. "What?"

"I should of known not to ask you two." Ginny shook her head sadly. "None the less, if I was to wear this dress then I need to pick out the right shoes." Ginny waved her wand one more time and two different styles of shoe appeared on each foot. "Okay. These?" She lifted one leg. "Or these?" She hoped over to the other leg. "Well?"

"I don't know... Do it again." Xander replied.

"These?" Hop. "Or these?" Hop.

"Hmmm... I don't know... Do it again?"

"These?" Bounce. "Or these?" Bounce.

"Huh..." Xander tilted his head. "What do you think, Remus?"

"I'm not certain..." Remus said. "Do it again."

"These?" Hop. "Or these?" Bounce.

"I don't know." Xander frowned slightly. "Do it again?"

"Xander!" Ginny exclaimed, stomping her foot in rage. She glared over at Remus, who was chuckling. "Professor Lupin, I'm shocked!"

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss Weasley." Remus said, actually looking ashamed for a moment, before a smile fought it's way onto his face.

"Look at what you've done to him." Ginny accused. Xander raised his hands in defense. "He use to be sweet and charming, now look!"

"Hey, he was like that before I met him." Xander replied. "You guys just didn't see it. Which, by the way, you must have been blind to not see the little glint in his sexy eyes."

"Fine. Whatever." Ginny huffed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have patrolling to do. Merlin knows it's more interesting than sitting here and watching you two make out like a couple of teenagers." Ginny started walking away. "And here I thought I approved of your relationship." As she reached the door, she spun around. "Oh, and Snape is on a war path because of what Andrew did, so I'd avoid the dungeons for about a week or two."

xxx

"I'm thinking hostile take over." Xander said.

"Yeah, but he'd probably scream." Spike pointed out. "Do you bloody want him squealing in your ear? 'Cause I don't."

"Good point." Xander nodded.

"Why don't you just sit him down and talk to him?" Remus asked.

"Because this is Andrew." Xander replied, as though that explained everything. "Now, Remus, you have your duties."

"Yes." Remus sighed. "Distract Severus long enough for you to kidnap Andrew... I really don't think this is necessary. They'll make up in time."

"Yeah, just like last time. Remember? Big hormonal scene in the hallway, followed by Andrew walking funny the next day?" Xander asked. "They'll have their violent happy, then have a big breakup a day later. I don't want to see it, you don't want to see. And none of us want to hear Andrew whine anymore, right?"

"Fine." Remus relented.

"Okay, so... Hostile take over?" Xander suggested one more time.

"As long as you take the head, so he isn't screaming in my ear, I'll go for it." Spike said. He looked over at Oz, who was his ever present shadow since Andrew's stint at teasing Severus. "What about you?"

"I'll be look out." Oz offered.

"That's my wolf." Spike said proudly.

All three men sent each other plotting smiles, while Remus simply shook his head. They made their way down to the dungeons, where they knew Andrew and Severus could be found. As they suspected, the couple was in Severus' office. Loud voices echoed from the room, arguing back and forth. Remus took a deep breath and entered the office, while the other three hid around the corner.

"Severus, I was-" Remus stopped mid-sentence, taking in the scene before him. Severus had Andrew pinned against the side of his desk, hovering over him like some overgrown bat. Andrew was glaring at him in a defiant way. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact you were." Severus hissed, not taking his eyes off of Andrew.

"I see... Well, I was hoping-"

"Severus would be happy to help you with anything you need. We're done here." Andrew said in a cold voice that Remus didn't think the young man was capable of until now.

"No, we aren't." Severus growled.

"You must be mistaken, Severus." Andrew replied. "I do believe I'm tired of hearing your ranting."

"I was not-" Severus stopped, his eyes narrowing. "No, you see here. I don't care if Lupin hears this or not, do you understand me? Don't you ever, and I mean ever, pull something like this again. I'm warning you now, I'm not a very kind man when pushed."

"You're not a very kind man unless you're getting screwed." Andrew said, before he glanced away and his eyes lost that strong, determined look for a second. He composed himself, and turned back to Severus. "You said yourself that we aren't together. I can flirt with anyone I want."

"Maybe I should-" Remus started, his voice quiet.

"Shut up, Lupin!" Severus hissed. "While you may not believe it, Andrew, I don't go for random acts of the flesh, just for the fun of it."

"Really?" Andrew asked, his normal, perky self popping up briefly.

"Salazar's Balls." Severus cursed, before gripping Andrew tighter and looking at him fiercely. "You are mine. Do you understand that? Mine!"

"Wow..." Andrew whispered in awe, before breaking into a wide grin. "Okay! Hey, let me just go tell Spike, so he won't have to pretend anymore, okay? I really don't want Oz any madder than he already is."

Severus watched in shock and just a mild case of horror as Andrew bounced out of the room.

"Well, now you've done it." Remus commented.

"I beg your pardon?" Severus asked stiffly.

"All I'm saying is that if you didn't mean what you just said, you are setting yourself up for a severe downfall." Remus informed him. He gave Severus a look, before leaving to go inform Xander that his plan was no longer needed.

xxx

"So, I was thinking of asking a Slytherin to the Spring Ball." Ginny announced from behind yet another demonology book. Xander had finally given up trying to regulate what Ginny read. It was a lost cause.

"Slytherins." Andrew said in a dreamy fashion.

"Right." Ginny gave him a strange look, before closing her book and turning to Xander. "I mean, I'm not sure if she's... Into girls, but who am I to be shy?"

"I've never known you to be." Xander pointed out. Ginny sent him a brilliant, blinding smile. "Go for it. If Neville can go out with Draco, then you should be able to go out with... Who is it?"

"Milchentbshde." Ginny mumbled.

"Who?"

"Millicent Bulstrode." Ginny grounded out, reopening her book to bury her face within the pages.

"Are you serious?" Andrew squealed. "She's... Huge!"

"Andrew, it's not nice to call people fat." Xander told him. "You wouldn't want people calling you a geek or dork or a skinny little twerp or annoying, would you?"

"I didn't mean fat, Xander." Andrew replied in an exasperated tone. "I meant she's huge. She all muscular and tall and... Well, she makes me nervous."

"Everyone makes you nervous." Ginny said. Xander nodded in agreement.

"Fine, whatever." Andrew huffed, standing. "I'm going to see Severus."

The duo watched him dart out of the room, before grinning at one another. Ginny set her book to the side and grabbed a sword, while Xander did the same. "So, life is good."

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked, the clangs of blade against blade echoing through the room.

"You're gay and bouncing from one crush to another like every self-respecting teenager should. All the little students of Hogwarts are getting a dance thanks to me. Spike's got himself a nice little home with a nice little wolf and plenty of blood. Andrew's in a complicated relationship that makes an absurd kind of sense." Xander explained.

"What about you?"

"Me? I'm... Happy." Xander shrugged.

"And gay."

"Bisexual." Xander corrected. "But that's no big deal, because I'm not planning on leaving Remus anytime soon."

"So, you're happy." Ginny stated, before knocking Xander's sword out of his hand.

"Yeah, I am." Xander replied.

"And you're dead." Ginny said, poking Xander in the chest lightly with her sword and grinning.

The End.


End file.
